


Paris chose love, and with love came war

by anotherbuskitten



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Female Sirius Black, Slytherin Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-08-14 13:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8015284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherbuskitten/pseuds/anotherbuskitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In those other universes Eris is happy and free and hated out right instead of in the shadows and Regulus is their parents' child and already withering as he sits on the stool.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius/Lily lesbians au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Eris walks almost silently up to the hat stool and focuses on the parts of her that fit neatly at home. There aren’t too many but she’s enough of her parents that the hat doesn’t look that hard.

The Slytherin table claps hard but not too hard – everyone already knew she would be coming here.

She dozes through the rest of the sorting the same way she dozes through family dinners.

While eating, while meeting her cousins’ friends, she thinks of the universe where she didn’t hide her jagged edges. Somewhere she allowed herself to be dangerous to everyone and not just the people who aren’t like her.

In that universe she’s sorted into Gryffindor for her anger. Ravenclaw for her quick mind. Hufflepuff for her loyalty; for the only part of herself that she knows for certain is good.

She imagines her brother getting sorted into Slytherin a year later. And he is still all their family’s futures pinned on one child. And she cannot help him because she is free.

In those other universes Eris is happy and free and hated out right instead of in the shadows and Regulus is their parent’s child and already withering as he sits on the stool.

In this universe Eris Walburga Black watches the Gryffindor girls in potions class. Behind her one of them is working with a Slytherin boy. She does the work automatically while she tries to work out which one of them is braver for that friendship.

Snape sees her look once and hisses that Evans is worth a thousand of her. Eris thinks that if she repeated this moment to Narcissa then he’d have his tongue cursed out. She stays silent.

When she goes home for Christmas Regulus says he thought she was going to be a Gryffindor. She says she changed her mind and he pretends to believe her.

She gets good marks that year but not brilliant. It’s all anyone expected.

When Regulus is sorted – just a shade quicker than her own – she stops her daydreams and focusses on the school. It’s duller than she had imagined.

Regulus gets better marks than she did and will continue to for the next seven years. This is both expected and easy to make certain.

She doesn’t watch the Gryffindor girls as often this year but when she does she thinks Evans looks tired and Snape looks angry.

/

When Eris is fifteen she talks to Lily Evans for the first time. The other girl is crying. Eris knows why – the whole school knows why – so she stops and goes into the abandoned classroom.

She shuts the door quietly and breathes in the dust happily before squatting next to Evans and gripping her hand.

She remembers her childishness at eleven; the dreams of bravery she’d had. _Here_ , she thinks, t _his is as brave as you are allowed to be._

Evans cries all over their clasped hands and doesn’t flinch away when she looks up and sees Eris. She does try to pull her hand away.

“Did S-Sev s-send you?” She says, and later Eris will realise that she intended her tone to be harsh.

Eris exaggerates her natural haughtiness for effect and shakes her head. “Nobody,” she says quietly, “Sends me anywhere.”

Evans’ mouth twitches up. “I sup-pose not. W-why are you here then?” Her tears have silenced but not stopped. Eris wants to kiss them off.

Instead she raises her other hand and strokes Evans’ hair like she does when Regulus has nightmares.

“No one should have to cry alone.” She doesn’t say that she’s watched her bravery for five years and she knows the friends she’s spurned to keep one boy. She will one day. One day she will tell this girl everything she sees when she’s dreaming.

“Do you ever –?” Evans doesn’t finish the sentence.

“No.” Eris says, still faux-haughty. “I have a brother.” She adds quietly.

“M-my sister hates me. Sev’s been my best friend since before Hogwarts. H-he’s the one who t-told me I was a witch.” Evans whispers.

Eris considers this; she knows a lot of things about Evans but she had never heard of a sister. “Is she younger than you?”

“Two years older.” Evans shakes her head and uses Eris’ silence to wipe away her tears.

“She doesn’t hate you.” Eris says with the certainty of someone who only knows broken families. “She’s scared she can’t protect you and that you’ve outgrown her protection.”

Evans looks up at her and Eris settles down on the floor to grip her closer and stroke her hair again.

“My eldest cousin still loves Andromeda even though she’s been disowned for her marriage. Andromeda isn’t even considered family anymore. I could never hate my brother for anything.”

Except dying, she doesn’t say.

Evans hugs her suddenly and fiercely. It’s the closest Eris can remember being to anyone not Regulus.

/

For five years Lily has been teaching herself not to notice house colours while walking so when she receives her first letter from Petunia in five years she doesn’t think not to thank Eris Black.

She catches her in potions; she’s always been sitting with Severus before and there have been two empty seats next to the Black girl for every class since first year.

She sits down in one of them and waits for Eris’ reaction. It isn’t what she’s expecting.

Two fast blinks and a quick smirk. “I’ll handle the knives if you don’t mind.”

Lily smiles wide enough that her cheeks hurt.

She learns small things about Eris that lesson. She learns that she is incredibly precise with a blade, that she ties her hair up with magic and no ribbons, and that she knows the name of every poison ever invented.

She wonders what Eris learns about her.

After class, when they’re packing up, she clasps the other girl’s wrist and says into the hustle, “Will you teach me how to hold my hair back like yours?”

Eris nods and slips their hands together as they walk up to the grounds.

/

Eris dreams of Lily.

She dreams of kissing her, of sliding into her, of lapping at her clit, of falling asleep curled into her. She dreams of hand-holding and shy glances and full-face blushing.

She knows it’s a problem only when Regulus corners her after lunch.

“You can be like Andromeda if you want.” He says carefully. Eris feels tears pricking her eyes.

“I won’t leave you.” It’s the only thing she’s ever been sure of.

“I know that.” Regulus shrugs gracefully, “I’ll never leave you either. But…” He pauses and lowers his voice like this is a secret, “You can still live.”

She swallows. Maybe it is a secret.

Regulus continues, “Burning Andromeda off the tapestry didn’t change her blood. Loving mudbloods doesn’t mean you can’t still love us.”

Eris considers; all their lives they have lived as expected but what if…

What if…

“What do you want to do?” She asks – whispers.

“Travel.” He says. Run away, he means.

Eris purses her lips and considers everything said and unsaid. “How do I –?” She swallows herself into silence.

“Tell her a secret.” Regulus says sternly, and then, reconsidering, “Tell her two. The biggest you’ve got.”

Eris flushes and thinks of everything she’s ever dreamed.

“Here’s mine.” Regulus says, at the top of a flight of stairs, “I wouldn’t change anything. Not a line.” He hugs her and lets her hide her face in cowardice.

“Go and find her.”

/

Lily has no one to talk to about Eris. Sev is gone and her relationship with Petunia is too raw; the only other time she speaks to people her own age who aren’t Eris is when James Potter asks her out.

She has this fantasy where the two of them are running around the lake – they do that sometimes; Lily likes running and Eris likes the fighting the fierce winds – they’re running and Eris trips and falls into the lake. And her shirt sticks to her torso and she’s shivering something fierce, so Lily has to pull her top off and cast a drying charm but it’s still cold so she runs her hands up and down and up and down Eris’ body to keep her warm. And Eris pulls her close like that first time they spoke but she pulls too hard and Lily falls into her – either into her breasts or her mouth, the story varies – and they’re lying on the cool grass together and Eris vanishes Lily’s shirt – says fair’s fair – and they tangle into each other and –

And Lily listens to the girls in her dorm at night discussing their crushes and wonders where she went wrong, or where they went wrong, or why she’s never even considered saying yes to James Potter.

/

Eris sits outside the Gryffindor common room and waits for something. She doesn’t know what.

Apparently she’s waiting for James Potter.

He’s the first person to come by while she’s there; he stops, glares and walks away backwards.

A few minutes later he comes back and repeats this. The third time he strides up to her and freezes.

She smiles. “Have you seen Lily?” She says softly; pretending, for his sake, that she isn’t dangerous. “Will you see if she’s inside? I can stand over there so I don’t hear the password if you like.” She tries to look innocent, or harmless, or like she isn’t wearing green.

“What do you want with her?” Hands on hips; now he’s got a purpose, someone to protect, something to stand for.

“I need to tell her a secret.” She considers telling him he can watch them if he wants, if Lily doesn’t mind, if he needs to make sure she’s safe.

Potter runs his hands through his hair and worries his lip. Eris thinks he is about to walk away again or try to curse her. He doesn’t.

“Are-you-in-trouble?” He asks in a rush, nervously looking from side to side.

Her heart catches. “Only the good kind. It’s very nice of you to ask.” A year ago she wouldn’t have said that; she has been letting Lily teach her kindness.

Potter doesn’t seem to know what to do. His hand hovers in front of her like he wants to make sure she’s really there.

The password to Gryffindor tower is _Respice Finem._ Eris smiles to hear it and holds it in her mouth and promises silently not to use it.

Potter takes almost eight minutes – counting time is the easiest way to waste it – to reappear and he has found Lily.

Eris jumps to her feet eagerly and stumbles. Lily’s hands catch her by the elbows and she thinks she could stay like this forever.

Potter clears his throat behind them. “There’s a secret passage not too far away if you don’t want to be disturbed.”

Lily looks surprised at his offer. Eris finds her obvious emotions charming – she finds it hard to think of anything except Lily’s eyes and her hands on her arms but she nods to Potter and steps away.

“Thank you.” Her arms feel cold now but for the first time it is Lily reaching to grab _her_ hand.

/

James leads the two girls away from the common room. He isn’t confused anymore; Black’s motives had been clear from the moment she set eyes on Evans and Evans’ feelings were just as clear.

James fancies Evans but he doesn’t know her well enough for the feelings to be strong. Black looks radiant with happiness just by being close. Their joined hands swing between them lightly – James envies them their easiness with each other and their overflowing joy at the other’s presence.

He thinks he could love like that given the chance. He wants the chance.

Once they are inside the passage way he begins to walk away but walks back to stand guard, just in case someone comes by to interrupt.

/

“Regulus says that I should tell you my secrets.” Eris says quietly, unable for now, to be clear.

“Ok.” Lily says. And she doesn’t ask for more information or offer to trade her own; Eris loves her all the more for it.

“I used to wish I was a squib.” She has to do the easier one first – the one Lily won’t understand unless she asks, “And, I’m in love with you.”

She looks at the floor, at the walls, at the flickering flames, at anything other than Lily.

And then she feels a soft pressure on her knee.

“I think I’m in love with you too.” Lily licks her lips and Eris lets herself follow the movement. “I don’t understand the other one though?”

“I can explain some other time.” Eris says, leaning forward.

/

There are only a few weeks left until the summer and Eris and Lily take advantage of as much of it as they can. The only people who know are Regulus and James, both of whom are more than happy to guard the secret spaces they hide in.

The last day of school the two boys spend long dusty hours in an empty classroom transfiguring and cleaning until a shining bedroom is in front of them.

They blindfold the girls before letting them in. Seconds after their eyes were open though they were both shoved out the door as it clicked behind them.

“Well that’s gratitude for you.” Regulus says cheerfully, cheeks flushed red, and a sticky lip gloss print on the side of his mouth.

James laughs.

“Hey Regulus,” he says when he’s stopped laughing, “Will you two – I mean will Eris be ok this summer? Will your parents mind all this?”

Regulus’ grin falls from his face quicker than a snitches flight. “They don’t know. She won’t tell them.”

“But…”

“It’s only two more years before she’s of age.” He looks away.

“Three for you.” James says quietly, almost unwillingly.

“She doesn’t have to wait for me.” Regulus sinks against the wall. That Eris would wait forever for her brother goes unsaid.

“You’re welcome at my house, if – if you ever need a place to go.” He says; trying to pack everything they both need into those thirteen words. Regulus smiles at him.

/

It’s fourteen days into the summer holidays when Eris recognises what she’s been hiding from – that she loves her family, loves her mother and her father, loves her cousins and her aunt and uncle, that no matter how much she loves them she already loves Lily more.

She is in the drawing room with Bellatrix and Narcissa. Regulus is with father and Andromeda’s name is still heavy in the air after four years of absence.

Bellatrix is telling them about the group she’s joined, about the man who leads them – more than a man, she says. About how he’s going to fix the world and how she’ll be right by his side when he does.

And Eris doesn’t understand until she does and the knowledge of it hangs heavy in her heart.

/

Mother starts it at dinner, bringing up Eris’ future; asking if there are any suitors in her life at the moment. It’s an illusion of kindness, of freedom, the pretence that any part of her life is undecided.

Regulus watches her sister – she’s become easier to read recently but he’s hoping desperately that that is only because he has been by her side for it.

“Actually, mother,” Regulus’ heart sinks like a stone as his sister starts to speak. “I was thinking I’d rather fight than marry.”

Regulus watches her carefully; unsure of where she’s heading with this.

“Bella’s been telling Cissa and I about this group,” her grip on the silverware shakes, “And I was thinking that some people are bound to fight against the world as it’s meant to be and I’d rather not start a family until things were better.” Her eyes flash.

Regulus wonders if maybe he’s underestimated her ability to twist the truth.

Mother looks like she’s going to protest until father raises his head and shows an interest in his daughter for the first time Regulus can remember. The conversation falls into a familiar patter about purity.

Afterwards father calls Eris to his study for a ‘chat’. Regulus watches her hands shake as she leaves and goes upstairs to pack both their trunks.

/

Lily has always spent the summer holidays missing Hogwarts but she has usually had Severus by her side to cover the ache.

This year the ache is larger than ever – now she has more to miss. But this year Petunia is talking to her again and it’s almost home again.

She imagines bringing Eris home to her parents; doesn’t think about their reactions just the way Eris would fit at their table.

She rearranges her bedroom so it could fit a second body and replaces all the photos of her and Severus with ones of Eris and a few of James and Regulus.

When her parents see the changes they say they’re glad she’s finally made some girl friends and the gap between the words haunts her.

/

James wakes early August 1st to the owl pecking at the glass. His first thought is that it’s good news; it’s Regulus’ fifteenth birthday in two weeks and the Black siblings had promised to try and convince their parents to allow a meeting.

But as he focusses he realises that won’t be the case – no one would receive or send news that wasn’t urgent at five am. Something was wrong.

The owl is a sleek tawny – not one he recognises – and two letters are clutched in its talons. As soon as James takes the one addressed to him it flies off.

_Dear James,_

_I’m uncertain as to whether this correspondence will be needed but I fear that tonight we may be breaking ties with our family. There is talk of something dangerous on the horizon; there were even mentions of war!_

_I fear Eris is willing to risk manipulating the board in her – our favour. Despite her brilliance I cannot imagine it working._

_I ask not for you to expect our arrival but to prepare for it. I have also written a similar letter to Lily and I must most rudely request that you allow her entry into your home – for Eris’ sake, James._

_Humbly yours,_

_R.A.B_

James has to read through the letter several times before it sinks in – not because of the content; he had been half expecting something like this – but just at the uncommonly proper and almost shy way Regulus wrote. The letter unnerves him and charms him at the same time.

He creeps downstairs to the entrance hall and worries his lip. He doesn’t want to wake his parents this early but he also isn’t sure if he will be of any use on his own. If only Regulus had given him more information.

/

“Father.” Eris gives a poor and unpractised curtsey. It has been a long time since she last spoke to her father alone.

“Sit.” He waits as she follows the order; eyes tracking her coldly, “Tell me truthfully daughter, did you mean what you said at dinner?”

“Every word.” Her voice doesn’t waver or stumble even if inside she knows that this situation is a powder keg, every second of safety hinging on her ability to avoid the traps.

“And where do you stand?”

Eris swallows but keeps breathing steadily. She had been aware of the possibility that her father would see through her half-truths but had been hoping the years of being ignored would mean he could not read her.

But there was still one truth she knew he would respect.

“I stand with Regulus. If I want a better world for anyone it is him.”

She looks straight into his eyes – he’s far better at occlumency than she but she’s survived five years in Slytherin with no friends and the knowledge that she’d whore herself out to a mudblood if that was all she could get.

Orion’s more powerful than her but she’s stronger than he’s ever had to be.

“And is there anything that could be done to change your mind?” He says it mildly, as though he hasn’t just rifled through it like it were a copy of the prophet.

Still, she bristles; she may have different priorities to her family but she is still one of them.

Her father may not have raised her but she is still his daughter.

“I am not weak sir. I am a Black; I will not break like china, no matter my gender.”

“I dare say not. You have twenty-four hours to change your mind.” He stands up – gestures to the door.

Eris can take a hint but she won’t here. “What life will I lead father, if I change my mind?”

Orion stares down at her; here and now they both know there will not be twenty-four hours to wait.

“You will marry well.” He says; quiet enough that it could almost be mistaken for sympathy. “You will bring honour to your family. You will bear children for a good name.”

Eris nods, curtseys again, and leaves through the open door.

/

James wakes with a start; the chair he was resting in toppling over with a bang. The sun’s risen and he can hear his mum pottering about in the kitchen behind him. The night’s over and nothing’s happened. His friends are ok.

They arrive at a quarter past six in the afternoon. The chair he had been sleeping in is still by the front door but his glances at it are becoming less frequent and the rigidness in his shoulders is almost gone.

There’s one sharp rap on the door and then silence.

His mum reaches the door before he can; he tries to remember if he’d told her about them.

Regulus is carrying most of the weight between them. Eris is slumped against him; she has a large bruise down one side of her face, and her eyes are unfocussed.

“Hi.” James says, forcing himself to keep the worry out of his voice. Regulus nods back at him and doesn’t speak.

Eris tries to focus on them and slumps into a mocking bow.

“She’s been drifting in and out of consciousness since we left.” Regulus says, gratefully accepting James’ outstretched arms and passing his sister along.

She’s lighter than James had expected. He tries to remember if he’d ever seen her eat.

“Mum this is Regulus.” He says, trying for good cheer and failing, as he carries Eris away to his bedroom.

“It’s nice to meet you ma’am.” Regulus says quietly.

/

James leaves him and Mrs Potter alone for almost twenty minutes before coming back downstairs. The twenty minutes have been silent.

“She’s asleep.” James announces his presence. Regulus relaxes slightly. “What happened?”

Regulus shrugs; it feels, like usual, foreign in his body. “We left. How long can we stay here?”

“As long as you like.” James says fiercely, not even bothering to look to his mother for confirmation. Regulus’ small amount of relaxation vanishes.

“We don’t want to be any trouble.”

“You aren’t dear.” Mrs Potter speaks for the first time. Regulus’ gaze snaps to her, wary.

“You and your sister are very welcome here. I’m sorry for my rudeness; I was just surprised to see you.” She glares sharply at James, who withers.

“I didn’t want to worry you?” He says hopefully. Regulus laughs.

“A little warning wouldn’t have troubled me Jamie. You know we’ll always welcome your friends.”

“Yeah mum I know. It’s just…I guess I didn’t want to jinx anything.” He runs his hand through his hair. Regulus rolls his eyes but can’t deny his fascination at this easy relationship.

“So what happened to the poor girl? Who hurt her like that?” Regulus notes tiredly that her gaze is far more penetrating now that it’s fixed on him.

“Was it your parents?” James says quickly, hand still clutching his hair.

Regulus shakes his head. “No. Father didn’t fight it and I didn’t see Mother’s reaction. Bellatrix kept hexing her when she realised what was happening.”

When she realised her favourite cousin was about to become her foe.

“I didn’t recognise what she was hit with but there don’t seem to be any lingering affects expect fatigue.” He finishes.

“And the bruise?” James checks.

“We took the Knight Bus to get here.” Regulus shrugs tiredly, “She was already barely conscious.”

James looks like he wants to ask more but keeps silent. “I set her down in the spare room; there’s only one bed but you can stay in my room if you want.”

Regulus nods and pulls out two shrunken trunks from his pockets. “Thanks.”

/

It takes Lily a few days to convince her parents that she’ll be alright going to James’ alone. She doesn’t want to torture them with the Knight Bus and she isn’t ready for them to meet Eris – or vice versa.

The ride was awful but short. James’ home is large but not ostentatious, even if the driveway was a little too long to be called practical – and why would a wizarding household need a driveway anyway?

By the time she reaches the front door she’s almost talked herself out of needing to be here. She received one letter from Regulus inviting her to be prepared and giving out James’ address. She didn’t even know if James was aware she might turn up.

Still, Gryffindor, right? She reaches up and knocks hard.

A few minutes pass before anyone comes to it during which time Lily has worried herself into near insanity but eventually James turns up. His hair’s even more of a mess than usual and there are heavy bags under his eyes but he looks ecstatic to see her.

“Lily!” He steps aside and beckons her in. Despite her nagging worry Lily can’t help but grin back at him. “It’s good to see you; we’ve been – I mean it would be good to see you anyway but – anyway it’s –”

“Hi James,” she gives him a one-armed hug and moves past him, “It’s good to see you too. Perhaps we could skip the pleasantries and you could bring me to Eris? I’m too scared to be polite.”

“Yeah, alright but you owe me for this. My parents are going to lecture me on manners _so_ much.”

Lily laughs and allows him to take her arm and pull her away.

/

No matter how many protests she issues Eris is still in bedrest for the foreseeable future. Euphemia Potter had insisted she stay well-rested until they could get a healer round for a house call to diagnose the hexes her cousin had used.

The Potters were fantastic. But Eris had never been a lazy-day girl and she’d never been allowed to rest when hurt; in truth the diversion from the norm was starting to grate on her nerves and give her paranoia of their actions.

James didn’t understand any of this when she tried voicing it; he’d been pampered all his life with especial emphasis on holidays and illnesses. He’d told her about his bout with dragon pox when he was six while trying to get her comfortable to prove that no expanse would be spared. Eris didn’t want to mention that it would, of course, be different with their son.

Even Regulus didn’t really understand her twitchiness. He’d hardly been spoilt by their parents but he was the heir and as such he’d been allowed some luxury.

At any rate she’s now insanely bored; the last time she’d been injured with any severity she’d locked herself in her room and researched healing spells. Since then she had never needed to seek help from pain.

She’d read all the spare quidditch magazines James had lent her, done as much spell damage analysis on herself as she knew how and experimented hard with wandless magic. There was nothing left to do; not with her still weak on her feet and constantly drowsy.

Thus, despite how tired she was of everyone fussing over her, it was a relief to see the door handle turn down.

When she sees that it’s Lily at the door her mild relief turns to ridiculous, overwhelming joy. She’s as gone over this girl as James is over quidditch and that’s one of the great loves of the century.

Lily appears to feel an at least similar feeling as she immediately abandons all decorum and throws herself onto the bed, barely missing hitting any of Eris.

Neither of them speak. Eris is unwilling to break the peace – as of yet Lily has not fussed or doted and she would like to keep that status quo for as long as it will hold. Luckily her bruise has cleared up and Lily, even after five years, still sometimes forgets that magic rarely leaves marks.

All good things must come to an end though and eventually Lily rolls off her and starts talking.

“So what’s going on? Regulus sent me a letter that basically said to come here but nothing else. And why are you in bed already, it’s not that late?”

“‘Already’ implies that I’ve left it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I got in a fight with my family. We’ve left for good now – Reg and I.”

Lily’s face goes ice white, “What did you fight about?” There’s a hint of stutter in her voice.

“The war. You, I suppose, except I didn’t mention you once; I wouldn’t put you in their line of fire like that. But I’d never be brave enough to go against them without you. You don’t need to worry though; this has been coming for a while.”

Lily still looks pale. Eris wonders what she knows of families like hers.

“I think my father may have given me his blessing.” She says with a smile; she’s yet to share that conversation with anyone, “It’s the first we’ve spoken in years so I don’t suppose he was too disappointed. Reg on the other hand…”

“Because he’s the heir?”

“Mm. But he’d left before they realised we were going together. No one got a chance to harm him.”

“So why are you in bedrest?”

“I got hit with some stuff. But cousin Bella’s good with non-verbal so we don’t know what yet. I’m under strict instruction to stay put – which means that you’ve almost certainly been having a more exciting holiday than me. Entertain me.”

Lily smothers a laugh in the duvet but refuses to cooperate. “But are you alright? Oh! Am I hurting you?”

“No. I like having you here. Come on – tell me something you’ve done.” She pleads, affecting a puppyish look.

/

Another two weeks of summer pass before the healer finally arrives and clears up the mystery. Eris had been hit by a mix of curses all cast in great anger _and_ great sadness. The effect the caster had desired had failed because a part of them wanted it to. The residue was painful but not long-lasting and while she’d be weak for a while the recovery would not take too long; perhaps a week or so into the new school year.

She was now allowed to roam the Potter’s house with the others but never alone. Fortunately Eris had no desire to be alone and while she wouldn’t seek out company she also wouldn’t avoid it.

Lily has to return home after that but they promise to meet up to get school supplies.

Not too long after she’s gone James’ friends Remus and Peter arrive as usual for a stay. That’s…more awkward than James had predicted.

The Black siblings sit in Eris’ room while James tries to explain things to his friends. As soon as the conversation began to get fiery Eris had grabbed her brother’s arm and said she felt weak. James was the only one to believe her but it got them out of the explanation none the less.

“James always gives odd this air of being completely in charge of any situation.” Eris muses gloomily; both of them are a little afraid he’ll turn them out for his friends, “I think it rubbed off on me.”

“That’s just because you haven’t seen Mrs Potter chew him out for anything yet. You missed all the lectures on manners.”

“Do you think we’ll be alright, then?”

Regulus stands up and paces, mostly for the excuse not to look at his sister.

“Regulus.” Eris says sternly.

“No.” He says finally, “Not really. I don’t think the Potter’s are going to make us leave but I don’t know what we’re going to do when we’re back at school.”

“Always the optimist.” Eris jokes weakly, “I’m friends with some of the house-elves at Hogwarts and I’m going to see if they can find an empty room I can live out of.”

Regulus says nothing but relaxes a fraction, “Good. I’m going to lie my way out of it.”

Eris jerks upward in rage and worry, “You’re going back? You can’t!”

“I don’t think I’ve got a choice. Either I go back willingly or they drag me back – I’m the only heir they’ve got. Their best chance for immortality.”

“They’ll kill you.” She whispers redundantly; coming over and hugging him from behind. “I’m so sorry; I should have found a better plan than running.”

“Your choices were running or getting trapped. I don’t blame you for this; no one would.” He leans back into her; feeling, for once, comforted instead of embarrassed for their height difference.

“I could have joined him.” It’s a barely heard whisper into his hair – the only reason he _does_ hear it is because he expects it.

“No you couldn’t.”

“You don’t think I’d be able to do it?” She sounds honestly curious and he hates the answer he has to give her.

“No, I think you could. I think you could fake darkness well enough that everyone would be fooled. I think eventually you’d fool yourself as well. I think you could kill and torture as long as you thought the payoff was worth it.” He takes a deep breath and readies himself, “I think you already have.”

Eris is silent.

“Have you, Eris? Am I right?”

The silence stretches on and on. Regulus doesn’t move to retract the question even if in the end it will change nothing; their paths have already been marked out.

“I never tortured anyone.” Eris sinks down onto the soft floor and muffles her face in her hands. “I’m not Bella; pointless violence does nothing for me but…

“But?” Regulus prompts.

“There was a muggle tramp Bella found somewhere a few winters ago. He would have agreed to anything to get out of the cold. I didn’t do anything for the longest time; just watched her try out some old spells she’d found but eventually I just – felt too sick to continue, I suppose. Two words and it was over.” She sobs a little, clearly trying to stifle it, “Bella didn’t even mock me for it. She thought it was brave, impressive. I just wanted it to be over.”

Regulus loops his arms around his sister’s neck and hugs tight.

“If you can blend in for this long then so can I.”

“But you don’t have to. Even if the Potter’s kick us out we’ll manage. We just have to stay together. Please.” It slips from her lips as a quiet breath and almost immediately she tries to lose his grip and hide.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that for the next three years it will be smoother if I stick to the script. And, I mean, what were you planning to do before you found Lily?”

She raises one shoulder in a graceless shrug, conceding the point. “Survive, I suppose.”

/

Regulus does leave in the end; disappearing one night and leaving only empty space behind him. Eris tries but fails to let Lupin and Pettigrew in regardless of James’ pushing and the kindness the other boys attempt to show her.

She finds it easier to cope with their wariness than with the Potters’ easy acceptance some days. Other days she feels the rush of rebellion she’d tried so hard to lose as an eleven year old.

Mostly, though, she just feels tired.

The morning they go to fetch their school supplies, her and the three boys, Mr and Mrs Potter stay at home for a relaxing time and to allow them a chance to exercise their independence.

James insists they take the floo to Diagon despite Eris arguing in favour of the Knight Bus. She has only used the floo once or twice in the past but refuses to admit this in front of James’ friends. She regrets this after falling flat on her face upon arrival and the subsequent coughing fits that rack her with pain.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” James checks for the hundredth time while trying to hide his longing for Quality Quidditch Supplies.

“Go off and play with your dicks and balls James.” Eris shakes her hair out of her face so that James doesn’t miss the roll of her eyes. “I don’t want to waste this day with you.”

“Rude.” James says in a tone clearly meant to be sharp although the effect is ruined by the bright red of his face.

“Sorry, did I say dicks? I meant sticks. Broomsticks.” She laughs then, at James’ scandalised face, and kisses his cheek for extra measure. “ _Go_ James.”

He does, finally, still bright red and grumbling under his breath. She watches him leave with the same sort of steady fondness she gets with Reg.

She isn’t sore about her brother’s choice anymore; she’s angrier than ever with her family though – she’s never been truly angry about how shit her family are before even after meeting the Potters and seeing how people are supposed to be but Regulus has always been her weak spot.

The sunshine that covers the world around her as soon as she catches sight of Lily makes her think she might have found another one though.

It shouldn’t feel as good as it does to be getting weaker.

She’s always known it would happen; regardless of what she had told her father, she wasn’t really a Black, not in the same way as the rest of them.

/

Lily doesn’t spot Eris immediately despite the other girl lounging carelessly, and beautifully, in their designated meeting space.

This is because she’d barely slept at all the previous night; too busy deliberating about this visit. Specifically about what she wanted out of it – her first and most immediate answer was Eris. In any form or conversation or state – except injured.

But after thinking on it through the night she had realised there was something else she could try for this year; her slowly healing relationship with Petunia. With that in mind she’d asked her sister if she wanted to come along at breakfast and had been pleased but shocked when Petunia accepted.

Flushed with excitement at finally getting to show off the magical world to her big sister she walked straight past the girl she could tentatively call her lover.

She would have continued further if it weren’t for Eris’ rather distinctive barking laugh, “Forgotten me already, Evans?”

Heat fills Lily’s cheeks at the address and she spins around almost fast enough to get whiplash, hoping that the swing of her hair will hide the brilliant blush from both her sister and her girlfriend.

It doesn’t.

Lily isn’t sure how much Petunia works out from Eris’ teasing but however much had been given away, Petunia’s attitude didn’t change: she was wary but in awe of magic and held much the same reaction towards Eris. Lily can sympathise.

Lily can’t stop smiling, even when Petunia flinches away from Dervish and Bangs and the apothecary or when Eris’ pallor becomes paler than should be humanly possible.

Until she sees Severus in Madam Malkin’s and feels sickly herself. Petunia notices him first, which doesn’t surprise her; Eris only notices things that are wonderful or dangerous.

She always says that Lily is both and the smile that follows her hideous blushing is Lily’s favourite of all Eris’ smiles.

Petunia clasps her shoulder, dragging her back to reality: but a reality that she feels safe in, with Petunia by her side protecting her like she always did and Eris slightly in front of her, calculating and deadly.

And James Potter barrelling in front of them and blocking her ex-friend from view. Eris grabs him in one swift movement and melts the four of them seamlessly into the crowd.

“Did you get in a fight?” Petunia asks disapprovingly, taking in James’ dishevelled appearance.

“Don’t worry,” Eris says laughingly, “His hair’s always like that.”

Lily stifles a laugh at James’ wounded expression and again when he runs his fingers through his hair self-consciously.

“Relax, Tuney. James is harmless.”

“Yeah – hey!”

“And very slow on the uptake.” Eris adds.

Petunia’s expression thaws a little at their easy banter. “Hm. Ok, but if you turn out to be the slightest bit like Snape, then well, I may not be magical but I can still hurt you.”

A slow smirk works its way across James’ face that Lily immediately worries signals the unwelcome return of his usual arrogance.

“Oh, we are going to get along.” James grins, “What’s your least favourite thing about Snivellus?”

Petunia giggles at the nickname, surprising herself, and allows James to take her arm and lead her away to Fortescue’s, chattering all the way.

All in all, Lily thinks it’s been a pretty good day.

//

The Hogwarts Express leaves on Sunday. Eris fails to convince James she’s well enough to push her own trunk, allows first Mr. and Mrs. Potter and then Petunia Evans to hug her goodbye, canvasses the platform until she spots Regulus and ascertains he’s unharmed and finally, allows herself to fall asleep on Lily’s shoulder with the sounds of the boy’s laughter as a lullaby.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily’s parents passed away in a car accident a few weeks before graduation so Eris doesn't remember it being quite as raucous as Regulus’ is turning out to be.

Technically she shouldn’t be here. She had never been formally disowned; a final kindness from her father, but she had had only the barest of contact with her family the past two years: for safety’s sake she and Regulus only interact when they had to at school.

She has, however, become a regular correspondent of Andromeda, who in turn, exchanges frequent secret letters with Narcissa.

It was from Narcissa that Andromeda had received the date of the event; on a scrap of paper in Regulus’ hand with a sworn promise to make sure it reaches Eris.

As if she ever would have missed this.

The world had changed since she and her brother had had their last conversation as siblings.

A new evil had arisen in her final year – a man hailing as a ‘Dark Lord’, with powers, abilities and ambitions the like of which hadn’t been seen since Grindelwald. Eris thought guiltily of her last conversation with Bellatrix.

James, Remus and Peter had immediately joined Professor Dumbledore’s ‘secret’ revolutionary group. Lily had turned him down. Eris hadn’t been invited.

Lily was studying to become a healer and Eris an unspeakable; they were constantly rushed off their feet, with little overlapping free time and even less when Petunia wasn’t also at home.

Eris drifts off during the ceremony, in much the same way she had done for most of her first year at Hogwarts. She only awakens to cheer loudly as Regulus takes the stage and accepts his certificate of education, the envelope containing his NEWT results and his brand new wizard’s hat.

Eris finds herself unexpectedly emotional.

 

She corners her brother much later, when the crowds are finally dispersing: their parents had been amongst the first to leave though neither of them doubted they were pleased with their heir.

“I’ve convinced them that remaining visibly neutral is best way forward.” Regulus greets her. She ignores him and moves in for a hug.

They speak quietly about anything except the coming war for hours until the teachers come around to shoo away any familial stragglers.

The graduating class will, of course, spend one last night in the castle before taking the boats over the lake and to the station.

They hug again before Eris is led away to the gates, Regulus promising to write as soon as he is able.

/

“How was it?” Lily asks the next morning, still in her apprentice healer robes and with deep rings beneath her eyes.

“Surprisingly emotional.” Eris smiles, presses a soft kiss to her girlfriend’s lips and passes her a fresh cup of coffee.

“Are you scared for him?” Lily says, breathing in the hot steam gratefully.

“Yes. Yes, but he plans to travel, so with any luck he’ll be away from everything until it blows over.”

Lily eyes her shrewdly, “Optimism isn’t your strong point is it?”

“Who needs pessimism during a war?”

“Me apparently.” Lily crowds Eris against the sink and kisses her, “I don’t like seeing you lie to yourself.”

“Then yes. I’m terrified for my brother and I don’t think this war will ever end.”

They stay like that from there, huddled against each other, ceramic pressing uncomfortably into Eris’ back, Lily still holding her steadily cooling coffee.

 

“Knock, knock!”

“Come in James.” They call in unison, breaking apart and brushing each other’s creases away.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“Everyone else understands the purpose of doors and fireplaces.”

“Warmth and…keeping out predators? I don’t know. Anyway I have exciting news!”

“More or less exciting that the last time you told us that?”

“Which was…?”

“Your ‘pet’ grindylow.” Eris says pointedly.

“Oh, way better. And why does everybody keep bringing that up? I’ve done _way_ stupider things.”

“True. But most of your stupid ideas don’t end up with you spending two nights in lockup and getting a ten-mile restraining order from all British Isles merpeople.”

James shrugs, more than used to being ribbed for that (and many other) incidents.

“Stop laughing you harpies, don’t you want to hear my news?”

“Go on then,” Lily smirks, “Do you want coffee?”

“Tea please. Drumroll? No, ok. I am the new reserve chaser for the Falmouth Falcons!”

“Oh! James, congratulations!” Lily throws her arms around him – and upends scalding coffee all over him.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Eris flicks her wand at them both, drying the coffee off but doing nothing for James’ burns. “Go to bed Lil. She’s only just got off shift.” She directs at James.

He winces, possibly from sympathy, possibly from pain.

“Celebratory drinks night at the 3 Broomsticks?” James asks once Lily has vanished.

“I’m free for the day. But I don’t know about Lily, I think she’s got an evening shift.”

His wince this time is definitely sympathetic. “Petunia?”

“I’ll ask when she gets in.”

“Ok. Regulus? How is Regulus, graduation yesterday wasn’t it?”

“He’s fine, but he’ll be having a family dinner.”

“Ok. Pete and Remus are coming. Because they are excellent, supportive friends.”

“Excellent, supportive, unemployed friends.”

“Pete’s got a job.”

“Yeah, I know. 9 to 5, soon you’re going to be telling him it’s slacking too.”

“Be nice this evening.”

Eris laughs, “Pete thinks I’m funny.”

“Pete’s delusional. You’re the least funny person I know.”

/

“Hullo Eris.”

“Hi Remus, you alright?”

“Fine. I got fired again, haven’t told James yet.”

“Why…?”

“The owner’s daughter is back from school and he doesn’t want me around her.”

“Ah. I put a good word in for you, if you ever want to work at the D.O.M.”

“No. Let’s see how low I can fall first.”

“Probably for the best. Lycanthropy isn’t being studied at the moment but it has been in the past. They might take advantage.”

“Isn’t it a medical issue, not a magical one?”

“It overlaps. Saliva shouldn’t carry long-term illnesses – Lily says that’s the medical mystery. We’re more interested in, why the moon cycle?”

“You two must have fascinating dinner table conversations.” Remus says dryly.

“No work over food. There are only so many bodily functions I can take; do you know how disgusting muggle medicine is? And I, well, can’t speak about what I’m working on.”

“Can you talk about this to me?”

She shrugs, “It’s not a current problem so no one really cares.”

“Where are Lily and Petunia? Both working?”

“Tuney’s on a date.”

“Oooh.” Remus sing-songs.

“Yup.” Eris laughs. “It’s the third one.”

“Oooooh.”

 

The bar night’s fun. James gets thoroughly drunk and shows everyone his flight skills by jumping off a table into a hen night celebration. The list of places James is suspended from gets longer.

The war, the one she and Lily are mostly avoiding, becomes harder and harder to avoid. Almost fifty percent of St. Mungo’s patients are there because of it – treating Aurors becomes an everyday thing as opposed to the once-a-month rarity the Healers swear it was before.

The Department of Mysteries treats the war as an elephant in the room; working around it and trying to get rid of it but never saying anything. Eris isn’t sure how allowable side-projects used to be but these days everyone’s got half-a-dozen personal projects going on around their usual workload.

She kinda loves it.

 

/

 

Training for their chosen fields had been hard and the payoff had been worth it. That said, graduating from trainee to official was way worse.

There are days and nights Lily arrives home dead-eyed and lifeless. She doesn’t even work in the main section – not long after Regulus left for foreign fields Lily had switched from general work to becoming a midwife. It had meant an extra year of training but she loves being around life and not death.

But there are several attacks staged against the hospital and whenever that happens they need anyone with a strong, quick defence to get out and protect the building.

Other times muggle-born mothers come in with spell damage affecting their babies instead of them. Other days the mother or the baby might die of something perfectly normal and not war related. Those are Lily’s least favourite days.

Today she gets home first; Eris had left before her as well, excitement in her eyes, a spark of realisation lilting at her voice and kisses.

She gets like that sometimes; a lightning bolt of inspiration lighting up her mind and sending her scrambling to work.

Other days Lily sees it happen and prepares for the empty space by her side but Eris just scratches something on a scrap of parchment and sends it zooming off somewhere, then turns to curl into Lily and savour the day together.

Those days when they’re together and safe at home, those days are the best. And while they save and adore every second, they’re always happy to receive guests.

Petunia had moved out from their small flat and into a reasonable house with Vernon in Kent. They were married within four months of living together and the wedding stands out like a shining star in Lily’s memories. Vernon’s a sweet man with a natural proclivity towards violence that he hates in himself.

He shouldn’t know about magic but he does. He had asked Lily to go ring shopping with him and they’d walked straight into a Death Eater/‘IRA’ attack. When the obliviators arrived she apparated herself and him away. He had been shocked and a little disturbed at first but had gotten over it quicker than many would. It was much the same reaction as he had to meeting Lily and her _girlfriend_ for the first time.

She doesn’t visit as much as she used to; little Dudley keeps her far too busy.

James is their most regular visitor. He’s still only a reserve player but Collins’ contract expires this year and he says they’ve hinted at him becoming full time more than once.

Remus comes by once or twice a month but refuses every time they invite him in. Sometimes, Lily knows, Eris is grateful for this – it’s no secret that Remus spends most of his time doing work for Dumbledore, and while Eris truly loves Remus she doesn’t want the war inside her home.

Peter never comes by of his own volition but is always happy to receive an invitation. He never mentions the war either and of the three boys Lily knows he’s the one most understanding of their refusal to let it in. The most grateful too.

Regulus is in Turkey at the moment. Before that it was Germany and before that the Congo. He hasn’t been in Britain since a month after graduating when he packed a small and bag and bought a portkey to France. He writes often but he isn’t coming back. Not yet.

Eris apparates in an hour and a half later. Her pale uniform is covered in coal grime, as is her face and neck but she grins wide when Lily greets her.

Lily has her suspicions about some of the things Eris works on but she’d never bring any of it up. She respects that Eris can’t talk about it.

The times they’re both at home together get rarer and slimmer every day but it never dims their passion. Today’s no different and they’re just getting into their ‘alone time’ when there’s a hesitant knock at the door.

“That better not be James.” Eris growls.

“Since when does James knock?” Lily asks rhetorically, straightening her shirt as she walks to open the door.

Eris stands as well, the moment now gone, to put the kettle on. She expects that it is James, only with someone polite – Remus perhaps – accompanying him.

James had taken to calling around randomly to berate them for being the dullest twenty-year-olds he knows. But the quidditch season would start up soon and they looked forward to bugging him in return.

“Eris, love, can you put the –” the kettle whistles – “kettle on?” She finishes redundantly. Eris imagines her rolling her eyes.

“Any requests?” She calls through, pouring cream and sugar into Lily’s coffee and sugar into hers.

“Do we have any mint tea?” Lily pokes her through the door, looking a little perturbed.

Their entire tea collection comes from James who refuses coffee whenever he doesn’t have a hangover. They don’t have any mint but they do have chamomile, rosehip, liquorice and raspberry and pepper dragon’s breath. They decide on the rosehip.

It isn’t James. A vaguely familiar woman and a small olive-skinned baby are sitting in their living room. The woman’s hands are twitching constantly but not towards the baby lying in its cradle.

Eris passes the tea over and sits down next to Lily. Lily grasps her spare hand and they wait for the woman to speak.

“I don’t know if either of you remember me? I was your neighbour last year? When you lived with another woman?”

“Petunia.” Lily says. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember any of the other tenants. Eris?”

“I remember our landlord’s son.”

The other two wince in unison.

“He was one of our reasons for leaving.” Lily smiles, the memory’s bitterness faded with time.

“I still say we should have sued him.” Eris mutters.

“Her cousin’s a lawyer.” Lily winks.

They’re good at this; easy banter that shows they’re comfortable and unthreatening. It works; already they can see the stranger begin to relax.

“I’m Marian.” She gives a shaky and barely sincere smile. “I know it’s a bit odd, me calling round like this but, well I don’t know where to begin.”

“Whatever you feel comfortable telling us.”

“I think I have to go back a little further than that.” She gives a small watery laugh. “I had an affair with a married man.”

Eris shoots an involuntary and unsubtle look to the baby.

Marian smiles at her, “I’m a squib and he’s from a good old-blood family. He only had to smile at me once or twice before I was head over heels. I’d never felt a part of – well you don’t need to hear about that.

He broke it off before I started showing signs of pregnancy, I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. I wasn’t sure what I thought about being a mother – that hasn’t changed. He’s a lovely baby but I just feel detached, or like I’m just taking care of him for someone else.”

“Postnatal depression?” Lily asks, “It’s not unusual.”

Marian shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter; I’ve already made up my mind.”

Lily and Eris exchange worried glances.

“He’s only four months old and like I said I never thought I’d see Br – my ex again.”

“But you did?” Eris checks, ignoring the slip on the name: she can name half-a-dozen old-blood men with names starting that way off the top of her head.

Marian nods wetly. “He turned up three days ago – probably looking for a quickie before work. And well, he knew at once. He threw a fit, kept threatening us, screaming horrible things. He said he was going to come back and ‘finish this’.

“I’m not a mother. I thought it might get better but it hasn’t and I’ve made up my mind: I’m going home to Italy, I’ve bought a plane ticket – one way and I’m leaving in an hour.”

“And the baby?” Lily asks warily.

“And why are you here?” Eris says, even though the answer is becoming increasingly obvious.

She swallows. “I don’t like the idea of orphanages but I’ll go to one if I have too. You two are the only magical couple I know – even tangentially.”

“And you wondered if we wanted a baby?” Eris asks incredulously. She might have already worked out that this was coming but even so…

“Whenever I saw the two of you together you seemed so in love.” Marian answers, looking anywhere but at their faces, “I think you’d be good parents. And I don’t know of any magical orphanages anyway.”

“There are a few abandoned children left at St. Mungo’s.” Lily says absently. Eris has a strong suspicion she’s coming round to the idea.

“And I thought – it would save him the heartbreak of discovering he’s been adopted.”

“Does he have a name?” Eris asks, making up her mind in a snap second. “Your plane will be leaving soon; and if we decide we can’t keep him, Lily can take him to St. Mungo’s.”

“Harry. For my father. Thank you, thank you so much.” She leaves hurriedly, afraid they’ll change their minds if she stays any longer, and leaving behind bags of previously unnoticed infant things and one baby.

“Eris!” Lily smacks her shoulder, lightly but hard enough to prove a point. “You didn’t need to be so rude. It might seem callous to us but…”

“She wasn’t going to change her mind Lily. Some people aren’t cut out to parents. I should know; I was raised by two of them.”

“And we’re any better?”

“Maybe not.” She shrugs. “We could look after him until your next shift, see how it goes.

Beside them, Harry shifts and turns over.

/

Harry James (Regulus is just too poncy, and James is around more anyway) Black (Regulus writes that he’ll reinstate Eris into the family when their father dies and power is always useful) is a quiet baby and too young to remember that his life was ever any different.

They hadn’t needed the full evening and night to decide that he would stay with them. They didn’t tell anyone except Petunia the full story, everyone else they just said they’d been on a waiting list and hadn’t wanted to tell anyone in case nothing had come of it.

All of their friends, quite rightly, adore him. James comes round even more often than before and even Remus starts accepting that he’s wanted.

Peter’s shyer than he had been previously but when he does come over it’s clear that he dotes on their boy.

Vernon had finally given in to his wife’s pleading (he’d held out much longer than he usually managed) and allowed his sisters-in-law to install a floo connection in their fireplace. Harry tends to be in awe of his elder cousin, largely because Dudley can already walk, talk (burble), and pick things up without immediately dropping them.

After a year goes by they finally stop waiting for Marian to come back.

/

They don’t know the exact date Harry was born so they celebrate the day he came to them as his birthday. Anyway, Eris laughs as July draws to a close, everybody should have a summer birthday.

(Eris had been a December baby and she’d always thought that being born in the ice meant she’d have to live in it too.)

James drags them out the day before they plan to celebrate to an Order celebration. They aren’t welcomed by anyone but James’ face is ash-white and his hands won’t stop shaking.

He introduces them to Frank and Alice Longbottom and their son. Lily remembers Alice from school but only a little; looking back she’d been such a lonely, isolated girl.

James walks off in the direction of Albus Dumbledore and then away again, worrying his lip like he’s got a guilty conscience.

Lily thinks it looks poor on him but still better than Eris’ discomfort around these people. On the darkest nights when they’ve enough courage to discuss the war she’ll always be the first to bring up Dumbledore’s little band of soldiers.

Lily never knows what to say when she does. More than once she’s cracked a joke that no one would ever find funny. Other times she touches her and hopes that love and absolution is enough.

Mostly she drags the conversation back to their own battlegrounds. James is in the order after all, and they don’t want to turn on him, and they shouldn’t judge these people for only wanting the war on their days off.

James comes back to them and takes Harry right out of Lily’s arms. She lets him, bemusedly.

“What’s wrong James?”

“There’s this. This thing. Frank, Alice the thing you know?” He looks at them in desperation but they’ve no more understanding to his mind than Lily or Eris.

“It’s Harry’s birthday tomorrow. That’s why I brought you three here; they could grow up brothers, an age difference like that.”

“James…” Frank Longbottom says warningly. Alice places a hand on his shoulder.

“Let him speak, Frank. Go on James.”

“This thing a-about Neville. Well I was thinking it might not be about Neville. And we should talk – but I don’t know who to trust.”

“Can we trust them?” Frank nods to Lily and Eris.

Eris replies before James can get a word in, stone-faced, “Almost certainly not. But we’re only dangerous if provoked.”

“Like wasps or mother bears.” Lily smiles, clutching her partner’s arm warningly.

“Who are you worried about James?” Alice says, looking away from them, first to where her son is sitting with his grandmother and then to Dumbledore watching them all carefully.

“I’m only trusting you because of Neville. I swore to protect Harry. They made me godfather. Me! Over Regulus.”

“Regulus is never in Britain.” Eris says softly. “And we know you’ll never do wrong by him.”

“Reg would never -”

“Of course not.” Eris says. “But I know what protection means to my blood, and it’s darker than what I want for my son.”

James swallows. It’s probably the most open he’s ever seen her, certainly around strangers.

Lily smiles, bright as sunshine and brittle as an old woman’s bones, “Shall we continue this conversation later? Before one of us says something we’ll regret. You’re all welcome at ours this evening.”

/

They half expect that to be the end of it and the Longbottom’s not to turn up.

“Neville’s at my mum’s.” Frank opens with, a deeply suspicious look coating his face, “She expects us back before sunrise.”

“Frank!” His wife says in a shocked voice.

“Come in.” Lily says, sharp but warmer than anyone else would. “Sit down and have a cuppa. Eris has the kettle going.”

Once they’re all sat down with drinks James opens his mouth to speak but Alice beats him to it.

“ _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches._

_Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies._

_And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not._

_And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives._

_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies._ ” She sighs. “I’ve had those words burnt into my mind since I first heard them.”

“A prophecy?” Eris asks.

Alice nods. “James seems to think it could apply to you. Harry was born in July?”

“March.” Lily says. “We adopted him in July and because we don’t have his official birthdate we decided to celebrate that instead.”

“I thought,” James says jerkily, “That ‘born’ could mean, in this case, could mean when he was born to you. That’s July.”

“We haven’t defied him three times.” Eris says. “We’ve never even met him.”

“Never?” James says weakly, hopefully.

“Not face to face.” Lily says, “But you got that letter didn’t you?”

“That’s only once.” Eris says sternly.

“I got one too.” Lily whispers. “I didn’t want to worry you with it. Not from him of course, from Snape. He got an allowance to keep me if I wanted safety.”

Eris goes still. Lily grabs her hands and pulls her close. “I burnt it straight after reading. It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters.”

“Of course.” James echoes.

“That mightn’t count and even then it’s still only two.” Frank says after a long silence.

Lily doesn’t let her tears fall.

James smiles. “I figure you leaving your family, Eris; that could count.”

“Especially for a mudblood.” Lily grins wetly. “What was the next bit Alice?”

“Mark him as his equal. But that doesn’t apply to Neville either.”

“A boy, born at the end of July, to parents who’ve defied him three times.” Eris says, “It’s not a lot.”

“It’s enough.” Lily says. “Thank you for trusting us with this James, Frank, Alice.” She nods to them in turn.

“Thanks.” Eris repeats. “Do you know if the prophecy’s been archived yet?”

“Archived?”

“The Hall of Prophecy. In the Department of Mysteries, all prophecies go there.”

“Can you talk about this?” James says.

“It’s not my area. But they’ll let me in, if I know anything on the subject. You’ll have to tell Dumbledore won’t you?”

“The prophecy was told to him. Would they keep him updated?”

“No. Most prophecies are just told to strangers on the street. Whosoever wanders past when they open their mouths. But there’s no guarantee he’ll have told them anyway.”

“He’s a good man.” James says. “No matter what you think.”

“Sure.” She smiles, as dark as her name. “But I don’t want him near Harry.”

“Where _will_ we send him for school?” Lily asks, jokingly, breaking the tension.

Eris smiles, as soft as she’s ever looked.

Frank looks at them properly for the first time. Two women curled into each other in one chair, tears running down one face, the other stone-faced. Guess who.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

“Don’t worry.” Eris says. “We’re well used to being told we can’t be mothers. And I’m even more used to people thinking I’m inhuman.”

“Still.”

“Albus says we should  have a secret keeper.” Alice says. “There’s a death eater heard it as well. And there’s a spy in the order somewhere. We were going to use him but…”

“But?”

“We’ll be yours if you’ll be ours.” She says quickly, head ducking down, “You’ve got the same to lose as us after all.”

/

Eris trades with one of her co-workers for the Hall of Prophecy shift. He’s more than happy to take it; prophecy’s never any fun and the Eternity Room is one of the better shifts.

“Are you sure about this?” Broderick says as they’re going in. “There’s still time to change your mind.”

Eris rolls her eyes. “Can’t you just count your blessings?”

“Sure.” He says sceptically, shrugging and going down one of the brighter corridors.

Eris waves him off fondly and covers a yawn as she nods to the Unspeakable at the door. “I need to know about a prophecy.”

“We’ve actually got jobs to do. Is that you Black? This isn’t your shift.”

“It’s a recent one. Last September? Albus Dumbledore was the recievent.”

“Did you owe someone a favour?”

“MARRON! This is important! Listen to me.”

Marron sneers at her, “I’m _your_ superior Black, remember?”

They stare at each other for a moment, neither backing down, though Eris knows it’s more from boredom than any legitimate complaint on his end. She breaks contact to roll her eyes.

“Please, Marron. I’ll take extra shifts if you want.”

“Don’t you have a family, Black?” His face wrinkles in confusion; no one volunteers to watch the prophecies.

Eris’ face pinches, and for the second time in as many days she feels like she’s going to break down in tears.

“There haven’t been any new priorities for a while. If Dumbledore had given us something we’d still be talking about it.” He shakes his head.

She sighs deeply, “I was afraid of that. How vague can these things be? Why do they drive people insane? How can you ever be certain it isn’t about you?”

“Has something happened? What is it you think Dumbledore heard?”

She shakes her head. “What were those jobs you mentioned?”

“Eris…?”

“I can’t say.”

He grabs her arm as she tries to move past him. “Yeah, to people outside of work. Eris what’s going on?”

She shakes her head again.

“This had better be worth it Black.” Marron growls, “Come on, we’ll find a trainee to stand watch, you need to – I don’t know – claim a holiday or something! You’re good at this job, Black, and I’m not losing my only success over the likes of Albus bloody Dumbledore.”

/

Eris apparates home and sheds her work robes. She wants her family safe and doesn’t know how to do it.

Once James and the Longbottom’s had left, she and Lily had discussed their options long into the night; it had been a long shot, asking at work, but considering it was the only place in Britain prophecies were being studied it had also been an opportunity she couldn’t pass up.

She hadn’t expected Marron to cover for her, too used to having everyone hate her; that had been a pleasant surprise. So she was only suspended – on maternity leave.

That made things easier in their own way, she’d be a stay-at-home-mother and Lily would bring home the proverbial bacon. It didn’t solve any larger problems though.

Alice had said, the previous night, that she and Frank were both leaving the Aurors until things changed. But Frank was head of the Longbottom household and could afford to do such a thing. With Orion still alive, they couldn’t do the same.

So Lily would work, and Eris would stay with Harry. Neither of them wanted to join the Order, but Lily had said that if she was offered a place again she’d accept.

They agreed to become the Longbottom’s secret keepers. Eris would be the secret holder – she’d fought hard for that but in the end the chances that Voldemort would keep her alive overweighed the trust issues they had.

Frank would be theirs. As far as anyone knew he had no connection to either of them, and while Alice’s connection with Lily was tenuous at best, it was still there.

They’d done the spell there and then, with James as a witness. The Longbottom house would soon only be known by the five of them, Augusta Longbottom, Dorcas Meadows and Benjamin Fenwick.

Lily and Eris had introduced Frank to Petunia there and then so she would know their location. If Regulus came back to Britain anytime soon James would make sure it got to him but they couldn’t put it in writing.

They hadn’t decided about Remus and Peter yet. Or they had, but hadn’t wanted to say in front of James.

 

//

_December 1985_

“Mama! Mama!” Harry pulls at Lily’s trouser  leg to get her attention. She bends down and scoops him up to deposit him on the kitchen counter in front of her.

“Yes dear?”

“How does the song go? I forgot again.” He pouts at her, wide green eyes blinking. She makes a mental note to take him to an optician at the next opportunity.

“Happy birthday to you/Happy birthday to you/Happy birthday to…”

“Mu _mmy_!”

“Happy birthday to you! And then she’ll blow out the candles.”

“YAY! Can I lick the bowl?”

Sometimes Lily blinks and it’s like they’ve been in these moments forever, as though no time has passed since the first day they were locked inside their home, as though they never knew anything else.

Being prisoners is easier than she would have imagined it if she’d had time. They adapted easily enough; both having more than enough practice – adapting to new worlds, worlds of magic and worlds where you have no more family.

They trade off months for working in the outside world or from home. That was easier than expected too.

Lily had always been brilliant at potions and on her home-months she puts this to use and creates new healing potions. Three of them are published, two in magazines and one in an actual book. Harry sleeps with her chocolate frog card propped up on his bedside table.

Eris writes thousands of papers when she’s at home; on stars, on infinity, on living magic, on prophecies.

It’s Eris’ 26th birthday today, and they’ll begin the celebrations as soon as she steps in the door. James will turn up in seven minutes, as soon as the cake’s in the oven. Lily knows this from experience; he’ll be in as soon as Harry’s stuck a finger in the leftover mixture.

Remus and Peter will arrive together, both of them expecting the house to have disappeared, they were forgiven for the lack of trust a long time ago but still the fear of being left behind lurks in their friend’s eyes.

Petunia, Vernon and Dudley will come through the floo just after James arrives. Petunia will come into the kitchen to make icing with Lily, Dudley will give Harry a bag full of leaves and sticks and street debris and tell him everything about each one, Vernon will trade quidditch and football magazines with the Marauders and argue about sports.

Lily is only twenty-five years old and she thinks she’s found her place in the universe.

 

Outside her home the war still rages on.

She would never have been recognised for her contributions to medicine if they hadn’t saved a team of Aurors from almost certain death.

Eris and James joint-published a theory on how to make broomsticks out of wand woods for aerial attacks.

People they grew up with are on wanted posters or already in Azkaban.

The Prophet’s Obituary pages are almost double the length they were six years ago.

James has started talking about joining the Aurors.

Remus quit the Order of the Phoenix after a meeting with Fenrir Greyback. He’s now on a ministry watch list.

As far as Lily knows, the Order itself loses members quicker than it can gain them. Hearing second-hand about the newly graduated children in its ranks, she is starting to agree with Eris’ mistrust (almost hatred) of Professor Dumbledore.

Hogwarts is the only place in which the population doesn’t seem to be thinning.

/

_April 1988_

The knock on the door comes just after Harry and his mums step through the fireplace. Harry knows why his family are in hiding so his first thought is ‘ _death eaters_!’

He reaches out and grabs Dudley’s and Aunt Petunia’s hands in his and the three of them take a step backwards to the fireplace.

“VERNON!” A woman’s voice booms down the hallway to them and they relax. Harry drops his cousin and aunt’s hands, and in front of them his mums swiftly put away their wands.

“Marge!” Uncle Vernon raises his voice slightly as he greets the visitor. Beside Harry, Dudley groans. “We weren’t expecting you?”

“I was in the area, thought I’d drop by for Dudders’ special day!” Her voice is no longer booming but still far louder than necessary.

“Who’s that?” Harry nudges his cousin.

“Aunt Marge.” Dudley whispers back. “She’s _horrid_.”

“Be polite Dudley.” Aunt Petunia says in an undertone to Dudley, but both boys hear her whisper to Harry’s mums, “He’s not wrong. I’d almost rather it was dark wizards.”

“DUDDERS!” The strange woman shouts as she enters the room. Harry winces from the volume. Dudley stands up grumpily to embrace his aunt; Harry giggles a little at his disgruntled expression.

Uncle Vernon struggles in behind her, lugging an enormous suitcase behind him. “Uh, do you remember Lily and Eris, Marge? I think you met them at our wedding?”

Marge releases Dudley who jumps back over to Harry to whack him for laughing. Harry laughs harder.

Marge squints at him and his mums. “No…no I don’t think so.”

Harry’s mum sticks out her hand and smiles. “Lily Evans, pleasure to meet you. This is my partner Eris and my son Harry.”

“Partner?” Marge says, ignoring the hand in front of her, glancing at both women and then staring at Harry. “You’re faggots?”

“Get out!” Aunt Petunia snaps before anyone else can speak. (Or curse something, Harry can see mum fingering her wand.)

Marge gapes.

“Out!” Petunia repeats. “I won’t have that sort of language in my house. Vernon, escort your sister out of here.”

“NOW wait just a minute –”

“You should probably go, Marge.” Uncle Vernon says firmly, handing the suitcase over.

“But they’re faggots Vernon. Abominations!”

“Out!” Petunia shrieks.

Marge huffs, takes one last look at them all and marches out, slamming the door and knocking two vases off their perches.

“I’m sorry about her.” Uncle Vernon says quietly, “I –

“It’s fine.” Mum smiles a bit shakily.

Mum says, “Can’t pick your family.”

Harry stops listening to them and pokes Dudley, “D’you want to go and find the cake?”

/

_September 1989_

Eris apparates outside the crypt just before the funeral begins. Regulus catches her eye from the front of the small crowd.

She slips into the back and tries not to attract any attention. Her father’s finally died; she’s sadder than she’d expected to be but not surprised.

The service is short and uninspiring. It’s no secret that most of the attendees are here only for the will reading.

Eris is as well, she had received a letter stating she’d been left something; which was _unexpected,_ to say the least. She would have liked to come anyway but had no interest in stirring the pot with her relatives.

At the end of the short speech about her father’s achievements her mother places a small box on top of the stone and taps it with her wand.

A wispy figure of Orion rises from it and begins to speak.

“With sound mind, I, Orion Peleus Black, Lord and head of the Black family, declare this my last will and testament.

To my firstborn child, my daughter Eris Walburga,”

What? – She had expected a final tacked on thought not a position of honour, ahead even of the heir. Perhaps her father had – no! She must put away any foolish, childish dreams.

“I recognise,” the apparition continues, “That you have my will, if not my heart, and I desire that you take my mind also. Thus to you, I leave my private pensive and library. Live well daughter, and know I regret not recognising you sooner.”

Eris’ walks, trancelike, to the coffin and curtseys to the ghost. “I accept these gifts father. Sleep well.”

She carefully avoids looking at any of the surrounding people as she returns to her seat.

“To my second born, heir of the house Black, Regulus Arcturus, I leave my remaining estate, titles and all else I possess. Thus concludes my will.”

Eris buries her head in her arms to muffle her laughter. Oh _father_!

She lifts her head at a tap on the shoulder and sees her brother.

“Hi.” He says.

“Hi.” She stands up and dusts off her dress, “Did you know he was going to do that?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

“Err…” Calls the minister from the front of the crowd, “Could the claimants come and collect their heritages?”

“Damn!” Regulus swears. Eris grins and takes his arm.

Upon arriving to the stone again the minister – a short nervous man – hands Regulus a ring and a sheet of paper. “You need to err…slice your palm, yes thank you…now sign here and here. Thank you. Do you have anything to declare?”

He looks like he desperately hopes not.

“Right.” Regulus slides on the ring, “Yes. I declare Eris Walburga, once scorned of the house of Black, to be amongst us again. I also declare Harry James to become heir of this family.”

“What?!” Shrieks Narcissa from the crowd below.

“Good, good.” Says the minister, “Are we done?”

“Oh no.” Regulus swallows and breathes in. “I, Regulus Arcturus, Lord of the House of Black, declare any of my blood and family who swear themselves to false lords to be formally disowned and disregarded from my house.”

The shout of fury came again, this time from Bellatrix.

“We are done.” Regulus ends, clasping Eris’ arm and walking away.

/

_July 1991_

Harry snatches a quiet moment of his party to tug Dudley into a corner. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Duh. Of course.”

“I don’t want to go to Hogwarts.” He says quietly, and in a great rush. Dudley bumps his shoulder.

“That’s not a secret. Nobody sensible wants to go to school.”

Harry smiles. “It’s not the school, though I am worried about that, it’s the people. When we went to Diagon Alley there were _so_ many and everyone acted like it was normal so I figure Hogwarts is going to be packed. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

His cousin considers this before dragging Harry into the hall – the house isn’t full today but then it’s never had its size tested, they just don’t know that many people – and up to his bedroom.

“Ok. We have to do this properly.”

“Do…?”

“I’m pretty sure Aunt Lily and Aunt Eris would keep you home forever if they could but speaking as someone who leaves the house more than once a year; people aren’t all that bad. Neither’s school but don’t tell mum.”

Harry laughs. “But I don’t _dislike_ people; I just don’t want to be around them.”

Dudley shrugs, “There’s probably a word for that if you went to a grown-up. Your parents said Hogwarts is a castle right?”

“Yeah.”

“So it’s probably huge – there’s got to be space to hide if you need to. And didn’t James say something about secret passages?”

Harry nods and smiles. “He says he won’t give me any freebies though.”

“He would if you explained.” Dudley waits but Harry just shakes his head. “Ok. You do want to learn magic though?”

“Definitely.” Harry says emphatically, “But mums’ could teach me here.”

“So you want to never leave the house without panicking?”

“I leave the house!”

“Yeah, to come to mine!” Dudley shoves him. Harry topples and pretends to fall off the bed.

Dudley laughs. “C’mon you’ve already got all your books and stuff – show me your wand again.”

Harry gets up and reaches to the top of his bookshelf to the wand box. He holds it carefully, like spun glass, as he passes it to Dudley. His cousin rolls his eyes at Harry’s dramatics but holds it equally carefully as he peers inside.

“It’s so cool.” He whispers.

“Holly and unicorn hair, 12 inches.” Harry says proudly, for the thousandth time since it claimed him, d’you want to hold it?”

Dudley does so, taking it out and giving a few experimental flicks, before shaking his head. Harry grimaces.

“I wish you were coming too.” He mutters.

“Yeah? I’d look a right mug with my pens and geography books.”

“Actually,” Harry says after a while, “I’d been thinking; you’re not going to boarding school.”

“No…”

“You could keep me up to date on your stuff and if I ever dropped out I wouldn’t be too far behind.” He flops backwards before risking a peek at Dudley.

“You think?” He asks sceptically.

“It’s not like Voldemort’s gonna look for me in a muggle school, is it?”

“I guess…”

“He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t imagine anyone would give up magic.” Harry insists stubbornly.

“Well,” Dudley says slowly, looking askance, “Yeah. I mean, I’ll send you copies of my homework if that’s what you want but – you’re gonna be a great wizard Harry, and not going to school isn’t going to change that.”

/

_September 1991_

The whole family turns up to see Harry off; Lily and Eris, the Dursleys, Regulus and the Marauders. Even Andromeda, Ted and Nymphadora ( _Tonks!_ ) who Harry only met properly a few months ago stop by for a few minutes. They aren’t huge but they still take up a large part of the platform.

Harry looks around quickly when the feeling of apparition – of safety, pressed warm to his mother’s side – wears off. He isn’t sure what he’s looking for – whether it’s the crying parents, the excited students, Neville Longbottom who he knows vaguely, the people with one hand on their wands constantly checking for danger, or if he’s checking Voldemort isn’t hiding behind a pillar.

He laughs at himself for that one and swallows down the desire to beg to stay home.

Dudley bumps his shoulder companionably, “You want help getting your trunk up?”

Harry nods, even though they both know that when Dudley says ‘help’ he means ‘does all the work’; one of the side-effects of never leaving the house is that Harry has no reason to do physical exercise (other, of course, than the fact that without it he’d probably look like a seven year old).

Dudley hefts the trunk onto the train while Harry pretends to be able to lift the other end. He notices several people staring at them, wondering why there were two boys but only one trunk. He feels a pang of sadness; this is the closest his cousin will ever come to Hogwarts.

Dudley drops his hold on the trunk as soon as it’s settled on the train floor, then waves Harry off when he makes to clamber up next to him. “Go say bye to everyone again. I’ll guard it for you.”

Harry considers but nods and runs off. The mass of students is moving forward now and he’s pushing against the tide. He reaches James and Regulus first – James hands him a badly-wrapped package and ruffles his hair, Regulus brings him into a close embrace – ostensibly to check that he’s still wearing his heir ring; it’s important he wears it, he says, even though mum swears the whole thing is bollocks.

And then he can see his parents and he charges at them like some sort of wild animal and throws himself into their arms. He has never wanted to go home as much as he does now.

They hold onto him with just as much urgency in their grips.

“What do I do?” He whispers weakly.

“Anything you want. Give it a go and if it doesn’t work you can come home. But give it a go.”

“Write us for anything you need. No matter how foolish it makes you feel.”

“Ignore anyone who puts you down. Ignore the prophecy. Know we love you.”

He sobs again, holds as tight as can to them, breathes in the scent of home and finally, detaches himself.

“I’d better go. Before Dudley gets carted off on the train.”

“Quickly then.” Mum says softly, stroking his hair one final time and pushing him forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the vein of things that are definite but I don't know need tags (ace James) Harry is def autistic in this - though that's partly just 'cause I am and I don't know how nt brains work. Eris is too probs but she doesn't have anxiety issues like Harry so I don't know if ugh I don't know..  
> Should I tag this stuff? it isn't important to the story or anything but its important to the character. o fuck it.
> 
> ughhhh why did i leave voldemort in this? ughhhhh


	3. Chapter 3

Lily goes straight into work after the train leaves the platform instead of focusing on the fact that her son is growing up and is gone and is going to Hogwarts with Albus and – look it’s _hard_ to spend time with Eris and not at least consider Dumbledore to be a bit shifty. They’ve _talked_ about it and everything, so now she doesn’t moan in front of Harry. Let him form his own opinions.

She doesn’t know what Eris will be doing with her free day – dropping in on Frank and Alice maybe? They met up every few years to renew the spell; it wasn’t strictly needed but better safe than sorry. Always better to be safe.

But Eris would only visit on her own if she knew for certain Alice would be in; she and Frank had never quite managed to over their initial animosity for each other. If only Eris would get over herself and admit that Professor Dumbledore actually _was_ smart…

Except that Lily herself doubted that these days – not that he was smart, not that he was brilliant – but did he really know how to run a war effort? And did he have any right to take the position in the first place?

Lily had met Aurors after all, and they were all so good at what they did; so magnificently sure that this threat could be beaten. Why wouldn’t Dumbledore leave it alone and take care of his school? Of his pupils? Of her son?

/

Regulus has about a thousand other things to do but he goes back to his big sister’s house and sits with her as she sobs in her son’s bedroom.

It’s odd being back in Britain. Being a Black again instead of whichever character takes his fancy – he’s been many different people since he was seventeen. Both truthful: runaway, rich back-packer, tourist and less so; looking for family, looking for a home, amnesiac, squib. He misses it – when he’s working or managing his family, when he turns around only to remember that he’s in charge now.

Moments like this though – any moment where he’s with Eris really, (or Lily or James or Harry or Andromeda) on these days he doesn’t miss the warm days, or foreign skies, or even the anonymity.

He waits for Eris to calm down and takes the time to look around his nephew’s bedroom. It’s smaller than he remembers his own being but filled with more trinkets and possessions. It’s a strange feeling to realise that a house-bound boy had a better childhood than he did.

He looks closer at the full bookshelf and the scattered desk and tries to work out which empty spaces are clear by design and which had been cleared to accompany the boy to Hogwarts.

He can’t tell so he goes to make a pot of tea and afford his sister some dignity and space.

When he returns, teapot and milk bobbing along behind him, the tears have mostly dried up and she’s just straightening up the bed covers to disguise her face.

“Feeling better?” He checks.

“Yeah. Wasn’t expecting it to hit so hard.”

“Why not? It’s not like he’s ever been out of sight longer than a work shift before.”

She shrugs. “Guess I picked up more from mother than I’d like to think.”

Regulus laughs, both at the thought of Eris learning anything from their mother and at the idea that they’re in any way similar. Still, he can sympathise; even after having seen good parenting he still can’t quite imagine it to be real.

“He’ll be alright. He’s a good kid and he understands the dangers of the war.” The last is said slightly pointedly, but not on purpose. Regulus has made no secret of his disapproval of their telling Harry what he asks.

Eris shrugs and he can imagine her rolling her eyes. “What should we have told him then? Other families don’t live like this.”

“You could have just said that you’re more safety conscious than most. It’s not like you don’t have reason to be.”

Eris laughs. “You really think I should have told stories about what I _know_ those people are capable of to a _child_? To tell my son what family he’s ended up in?”

“I meant because of Lily.” Regulus lies through his teeth. “What with him being adopted some people might have thought he was –

“Stolen.” Eris says flatly. “They do; I promise you.”

“Eris…” Regulus winces.

“I learnt my lesson with you. Shielding does more harm than good.” She smirks at him, “Stop playing Lord with me Reg; you’re still my little brother.”

“I’m not! I wouldn’t bother with you anyway.” He pauses to watch her hold back her laughter. “Are you really worried about Harry finding danger?”

“Well…he does idolise James to an unhealthy degree…”

“Yeah, I bet you regret not picking the nineteen year old for godfather now.”

“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.”

He grins, happy and light, and chances a glance at her. “So?”

“I’m worried about Dumbledore. I know James told him about Harry way back when – I’ve never been able to convince him that was a bad idea – he’s never contacted us or anything, he knows we’re not Order material. But we’ve been trying not to pass our – my, really – fears on to Harry and…”

“I think the grandfatherly thing only works on people with actual grandfathers to base it on. I mean, I genuinely started school thinking all headmasters were like Phineas Nigellus.”

“That’s a reassuring alternative…I guess.”

“Yeah. Things can always get worse.”

“That, little brother, would be the problem.”

 

//

 

Harry fidgets in the empty compartment. He considers James’ gift several times before stuffing it into his trunk to avoid temptation. Better to wait until he was somewhere with less people. James was fairly eccentric about gifts.

He’d only just managed to find an empty compartment. It was right at the end of the train and a little smaller than the others he’d passed but it was quiet. He had almost knocked on the door when he passed Neville Longbottom on the way down the train but that compartment had been full of other people – all first years by the looks of them, and probably Order children. Harry’s going to pretend that his reasons for passing on were political and not because of the crowd until he dies.

He isn’t a coward. He isn’t.

That particular mantra would probably be working better if he could stop sweating. And the window was already open so he didn’t have an excuse for that. Not yet anyway; he was working on it.

Maybe he could convince himself that his school robes were stifling…

There’s a sudden noise that has Harry reaching for his wand – and his entire repertoire of never practiced spells.

“Uh…I knocked but you didn’t notice and…can I sit here? Everywhere else is full.”

Harry has a miniature fit at the thought of company but he nods to avoid embarrassment and takes a good look at his new companion.

Redhead, taller than him – by about a head! But he must be a first year or he’d have friends to sit with surely? – maybe Harry was just even shorter than he’d already thought? Fantastic.

What else could he tell from some subtle glances? Robes already on so probably pureblood, but a little short for him so…probably not old blood? Or did that not exclude middle and lower classes? There’s a possibility he had dozed a little when Uncle Regulus tried to teach him genealogy.

“I’m Ron by the way.”

Ron, Ron, Ron? Nope no recollection of the name. Did that mean that it wasn’t a legacy name? Was that a good thing? He really hopes that mum was right about this stuff being bollocks.

“Harry.” He gives what he can only imagine is the sickliest smile imaginable.

“Are, are you a first year too?”

“Yeah.”

“Nervous?”

“No! Why would you think that? Maybe I always sweat this much. Maybe it’s really hot in here. Maybe –” He tries to think of any other lie – better _or_ worse but stops when he sees Ron’s grin. He blushes. “Maybe a little.”

“Me too.” Ron says, still grinning, so Harry isn’t sure if he’s just being kind or not. “I was a bit worried that everyone else would already know everything and be all relaxed and sophisticated but you’ve err…laid that to rest.”

“Bog off.” Harry mumbles good-naturedly, the tension broken.

 

To his complete surprise Harry finds that talking to Ron is easy – almost like talking to Dudley – and they soon get swept away in important subjects: quidditch teams (Ron checks several times that Harry really supports the Falcons and isn’t just picking a popular team. But Harry isn’t offended because James had explained people might do that and it just meant they understood the importance of quidditch), chocolate frog cards (Ron’s collection was larger but Harry had a Ptolemy. He doesn’t mention his mum’s card) and the Hogwarts’ houses.

“I don’t think I could bear not being in Gryffindor.” Ron says, and Harry gets an unpleasant jolt at the thought of mum (and Regulus and Andromeda even). “I’m not sure Fred and George would ever let it go. They’d probably try to get mum to disown me.”

He looks wretched but Harry feels ten times lighter. “Do you think the other houses are bad?” He checks.

Ron shrugs once and then again for good measure. “I don’t know anything about them. Everyone in my family’s in Gryffindor; that’s why I’m worried.”

“But you don’t hate them or anything?” Harry presses.

“Well…” Ron says a little warily, “Slytherin.”

Harry nods and tries to look a little less accusatory.

“I mean You-Know-Who was in Slytherin.”

“Who?”

“What?”

“Who’s you-know-who?”

“What do you mean? I thought you were pureblood?”

“Half.” Harry corrects automatically. “And what does that have to do with anything?” He was getting really annoyed now. He had _liked_ Ron. Damnit.

“Not like that!” Ron yelps, scandalised. “I just mean…you know about the war don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” Harry can’t imagine not knowing about the war but he still doesn’t understand what Ron’s getting at.

“Well then.”

_“What?”_

“How can you not know You-Know-Who? He’s the darkest wizard ever!”

Harry’s eyes widen with realisation. “You mean Voldemort?”

Ron yelps again but louder. “Don’t say the name!” He looks frantically around the small compartment as though expecting someone to jump out at them.

“Why not?”

“Just don’t. No one does.”

“My parents do.” Harry says strangely, “And my uncle and godfather.”

“Oh.” Ron looks just as confused as Harry feels.

“It’s a bit long-winded isn’t it? You-Know-Who. And confusing?”

“A bit.” Ron shrugs. “But I’ve never heard anyone say it aloud before.”

“Voldemort.” Harry says boldly. Ron twitches again but doesn’t make any noise. “Now you go.” Harry prompts.

Ron looks shocked at the very idea but after opening and closing his mouth a few times he manages to whisper “…Voldemort.”

“VOLDEMORT!” Harry shouts.

“Voldemort!” Ron says louder.

Harry laughs. After a moment Ron joins in.

“It sounds a bit stupid out loud actually.” He says after they quiet down.

Harry considers this. “Maybe that’s why no one says it. They don’t want to admit how lame their arch-nemesis is.”

Ron snickers.

Harry bites his lip. “My mum was in Slytherin you know.”

Ron’s eyebrows rise. “Oh…”

“Do you really think it matters?”

Ron stays silent for long enough that Harry starts to regret bringing it up again; he knows mum won’t care what someone thinks of her old house. As far as he can tell she doesn’t think much of Slytherin either.

In front of him Ron seems to make up his mind and come to a decision. “Of course it doesn’t matter.”

Harry sighs in relief and the two boys grin giddily at each other.

/

The first letter they receive from Harry is long, rambling and clearly written at different points of the day. First is a big chunk about his new friend Ron. Then a short side-note asking why his surname had to begin with a B. Then another ramble about the food, the amount of people, the noise, the singing hat and the welcoming speech. Then a very quick scribble adding that he was in Gryffindor. Then, in a neater hand; presumably written the next day when he was more awake: jubilations at James’ gift (because every eleven year old needs to turn invisible, _James_ , what were you thinking?) and a request for information on Peeves.

And finally a report of his first transfiguration class.

“Do you think he wants blackmail on Peeves?” Eris asks lightly, timing it so that Lily laughs and splutters coffee over the table.

“Why, do you have any?”

“Yes.” She lies to keep the smile on Lily’s face. “I know lots of his secrets. Where his hat came from. Where he sleeps. His dark and gritty backstory.” She grins, breaking the façade, “What sort of secrets would a poltergeist even have?”

“Does he have a real name, maybe?” Lily asks lightly, refreshing her drink.

“Unlikely. Most poltergeists don’t.”

“You take these questions too seriously, you know that?”

“They’re basically my job, Lil.”

Her lips quirk. “I suppose. I usually just put it down a lack of humour but that works…”

“Why you –” Eris jumps up, faux raging and jumps at Lily from across the table. The breakfast things go flying. Lily’s laughter is quickly stifled by kisses.

/

Harry wakes up before any of the other boys in his dorm. The sun’s just risen; the sky’s still tinged pink. Harry stares out the window for as long as he can manage (about a minute) before the sheer space of everything overwhelms him and he crawls back under his covers and pulls the curtains around his bed.

After a few minutes of heavy breathing he slips out again. This time he avoids the windows and pads over to Ron’s bed. His friend is on his back snoring; Harry considers this, walks back over to his own bed, pulls on his robes and then goes to shake Ron awake.

It takes a while for him to respond but the benefit of waking early is that they’ve got that time to spare. By the time Ron finally blinks awake to glare at Harry the sky has lost the last of its pink colouring.

“If we go down now we’ll get the pick of the food and no crowds.” Harry says in a loud whisper. “And we can find the classrooms early too.”

Yesterday they’d been almost ten minutes late to transfiguration because they’d asked for directions from Peeves the poltergeist and ended up near the astronomy tower where a helpful Ravenclaw prefect had taken them back, thus missing her own class as well. Harry was trying to work out if a thank you card would be weird.

It’s that last thing that perks Ron up. He makes a grumbling noise but slides out from under his duvet. Harry goes into the bathroom to splash water on his face.

When he comes out Ron is dressed – a little sloppily – but dressed. “The greenhouses shouldn’t be hard to find at least.”

Harry nods, “How deep do you think the dungeons go? I mean, the castle could be as deep as it is tall.”

Ron stares at him. “Good point. Fred and George say that Snape’s the worst teacher as well so we’d better not be late. They said he’s especially bad to Gryffindors.”

“We’d better go quickly then.” Harry says. Ron nods frantically.

 

They first begin to suspect that they’ve gone down the wrong side of the castle when Ron yawns and trips into a fancy golden tapestry and goes straight through.

The other side of the tapestry isn’t one of the secret passageways James had promised were there. At least, Harry assumes it isn’t based on the low ceiling and clear dead end. Regardless, it performs well as a small pit stop and rest area.

Ron rubs his head grumpily as Harry tries desperately to focus on the route they’d taken to get here. It hadn’t occurred to him until now that they should be tracking their failures as well as their successes.

“This is gonna take forever.” Ron moaned loudly, “And we’ll probably have missed breakfast by now.”

“We already got food, _remember_?” Harry says pointedly, choosing to ignore his own rumbling stomach in favour of the moral high ground.

Secretly, guiltily, he shuffles further backward into the crevice. Hogwarts isn’t as fearful as he’d expected – at least not most of the time – but there were seconds, sometimes minutes where the world blurred in front of him and he couldn’t move for the noise. Simple things seemed to halt time for him; the solid stone steps, the cacophony of accents in the Great Hall, the amount of red in his dorm, Ron’s hand hovering close; ready to pull him out of his funk but not daring to.

Hogwarts doesn’t bother him, he insists, but the amount of life in it is staggering. Would it really hurt his education if he stayed here for one lesson?

And anyway it was potions. His mum could teach him later – over the holidays maybe – she was well known for being a genius Potioneer after all.

That was another funny thing about Hogwarts; Ron had spotted his mum’s frog card and asked why it wasn’t with his collection and he’d just shrugged and said it was his favourite. He’d never noticed before that his mums had different last names; never noticed and never cared.

Now he was wondering if maybe it did matter; the way Uncle Regulus said it did. And that if he was right then maybe Harry should swap from Black to Evans. There’d been surprise on some faces when he was sorted, although he only recognised it later, and just yesterday Ron’s brother Percy had said just within earshot that Ron didn’t _have_ to be friends with Harry. With Harry Black he’d said, with emphasis on Black like it meant something more than an extended family he’d never meet.

 

Like the other times he’s zoned out he focuses on Ron’s worried, tentative prodding. He shakes his head at his friend and tries to stand.

“Watch out mate!” Ron says, tugging him back into a crouch before he can crack his head on the low ceiling. “Are you sure it’s nothing serious when you do that? I was ready to get a teacher that time!”

“It’s fine.” Harry says tersely, sliding out from behind the tapestry and into the sunlit hallway. He doesn’t turn to look as Ron follows him but he can guess at the pinched expression he’d see if he did.

/

_Dear Mums,_

_Ron and me got detention for being late to potions which means we learned more than anyone else according to Seamus. Professor Snape is really horrible. Ron’s brothers said he probably works for Voldemort (did you know people call him you know who?) but a seventh year lectured them for ages about respecting the war._

_Is it wrong that I kind of agree with both of them?_

_Detentions this evening after tea. Tell you about it next letter._

_Love Harry_

_P.S. Is there something wrong with our family? No reason though bye_

 

“PROFESSOR SNAPE?!” Lily roars over breakfast after slitting open Harry’s letter. Eris jolts awake from the noise.

“You’re better than any coffee Lil. What’s going on?”

“Read this.” She shoves the letter into Eris’ face, before breathing out noisily and lowering it to a more visible reading distance.

Eris takes the letter carefully and reads it slowly, with serious eyes. Usually Lily would grin at the paranoia with which she reads their son’s letters but right now her heart is beating fast enough to run away and she wants Harry _home_.

Eris seems to take an age to finish reading; Lily practically vibrating next to her.

“It might not be him.”

Lily glares; she knows that it needs to be said, that nothing is certain, but now is not the time. She needs Eris to plan and scheme and protect not skulk in the shadows and hold back her rage.

“Yeah. Alright.” Eris says quietly, “So what do you want to do?”

Lily relaxes a little, not having realised how scared she’d be that Eris would call her a fool for her fear the way she had to her in the past.

“I don’t know.”

“So for the sake of argument; what if he’s changed?”

“I don’t care. I don’t want him near Harry.”

“Ok.” She nods. “What scares you the most?”

Lily considers this for a long time; the fact is that Severus himself doesn’t scare her – she still remembers him fondly when she forgets herself – but when she places her friendship with him side by side with her friendships now she can see how isolated she was then, how malleable, how breakable.

She knows she doesn’t want that for her son but she also knows that that won’t happen to him just from Severus being close by.

Thinking of back then; reliving childhood memories she’d thought she’d never have to touch upon again it’s almost clear what she’s afraid of but it still hurts to crystallize those memories.

She steps closer to Eris before speaking.

“He was well on the path to being a death eater when we still spoke. And that was with a mudblood for a friend. I don’t believe for a second that he never at least tried to join.”

She tries not to make it obvious that she’s looking for validation but when Eris nods her whole body slumps in relief and her breath whooshes out in a rush.

“Do you want to go to Hogwarts?” Eris says in an almost gleeful tone. Lily rolls her eyes at the brief return to normality.

“Sorry.” Eris smiles, looping their arms together, “If you want to do this the diplomatic way then we should call Regulus. He’s got a seat on the board of governors.”

“I don’t.” She says quietly, and then louder when Eris looks at her quizzically, “I don’t want to do things properly. I want to storm in there and shout until he’s gone somewhere far away from our son. I want to pull Harry out of there and never lose sight of him again. I want our family to be safe.”

She sighs, long and heavy, “And I know that isn’t going to happen at least until the war is over. But Severus Snape represents the war to me in a way the Dark Mark never managed to and I don’t want him near Harry.”

“Ok.” Eris doesn’t say anything further, just gathers Lily into her arms in a mirror of the first time they spoke. That was because of Snape too. She supposes she could be thankful – except, except no one should be thankful for another person’s pain no matter what good may come from it.

/

 

They don’t call Regulus in the end. They don’t call anyone; just book a day off together and turn up at Hogwarts’ gates hands clasped tight and minds focused.

They’ve got different approaches to battle; too different to really work well together if they’re going in offensively – defence is another matter altogether; in that they are seamless as a pair.

That’s why, once the gates are dragged open by Hagrid (who Lily smiles at while Eris lags behind) they set off in separate directions.

Lily waves Eris off at the first set of staircases; her partner is going to try and catch Severus in his own space – something she herself cannot muster the courage for, while she approaches Professor Dumbledore about his hiring practices.

To her surprise four days had been more than enough to find arguments past her own fears against Severus’ position as potions professor. She hadn’t noticed the decline of good Potioneers in recent years until she’d started asking around at work.

There were only two Hogwarts graduates in the past five years with the qualifications to become a healer. One ex-Gryffindor boy sheepishly admitted that his parents had hired him a private tutor for the subject for his last two years of school in order for him to pass.

The other – a muggleborn Ravenclaw girl – tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by suggesting his manner was to weed out the truly dedicated but didn’t seem particularly convinced by her own argument.

In Lily’s opinion those conversations alone were proof enough that Hogwarts needed a better teacher. In times of war they needed as many healers as they could get.

She’d asked Eris if the same thing was happening with Unspeakables but only received a shrug in return; apparently the Department of Mysteries took on most of the people who applied just on the basis of their having come in. A good sense of direction is always appreciated, Eris had smirked, but due to the nature of the job Lily hadn’t gotten the joke.

It’s odd being back at the school – although the oddest part by far is how little nostalgia she feels; she’s always looking back at Hogwarts as such a happy place. Maybe more of that had been to foil Eris’ paranoia than she’d like to admit.

In an act that James would no doubt tease her for, Lily gets lost three times on her way to the Headmaster’s office. The only previous time she’d been up there had been to discuss her duties as head girl. She ends up having to ask the portrait of Sir Cadogan for directions, something she only dares do because she won’t have to ever see him again after today, so he won’t start thinking she enjoys his company.

Upon arrival at Albus’ gargoyle guards Lily finds herself cursing everything in sight, but mostly herself; as she had forgotten that a password would be needed to enter.

James would know some sort of trick to get past them. Eris would find some manner of wheedling her way inside. Remus would wait calmly. Peter would ask for assistance. Regulus would – Regulus would have called an official meeting.

Lily, being none of her friends or family, swears loudly and kicks the wall before walking away; she’ll either find someone to ask or she’ll end up at the dungeons herself. She won’t wait here.

/

Eris  finds it hard to walk the dungeons and not think of them as Professor Slughorn’s realm. She can’t imagine Severus Snape living and working there, though in fairness, Eris’ impression of Snape is still of a weedy sixteen year old; for all that she spent seven years living amongst them very few of her year-mates made much of an impression on her.

Snape, she remembers primarily as someone Lily had nightmares about for a good chunk of their sixth year. She has no delusions about being a fair judge of his character; but then, she doesn’t consider herself that for anyone.

Lily knew Snape at both his best and worst. She was the one to listen to in this.

/

Harry feels a shiver of unease.

He considers sharing the feeling with Ron to see if it’s mutual but doesn’t. No doubt the feeling is coming from the fact that their first flying lesson is today, and Ron has been on a broom before.

Harry hasn’t. Despite the fact that his Godfather was a pro quidditch player when he was little, Harry has never even touched a broom before. He used to want to fly, desperately, and it has been easy up to now to be excited to learn flight.

It’s not so easy with only fifteen minutes between him and the quidditch pitch and having to take his feet off the ground.

He checks, as subtly as he can manage, the other Gryffindors to see if any of them are having similar fears.

His dorm-mates, to a one, look excited. The Gryffindor girls look bored (Lavender Brown), nervous (Hermione Granger) and angry (Parvati Patil). Harry feels as though he’d be in better company with them but doesn’t dare go over to chat.

It isn’t that the other first years aren’t nice. It’s just that due to his introverted upbringing and shy nature they don’t know anything about him and most people share similar opinions to those of Percy Weasley.

He doesn’t bother looking for similar weaknesses in the Slytherins. He hates himself a little for giving in to his house’s distrust of Slytherin house when he knows that Voldemort isn’t the only example of what cunning can produce. But it isn’t prejudice staying his gaze from the other house – only the understanding that his classmates know how to keep their feelings from being seen – and he has never had much skill when it comes to facial expression.

At the thought of Slytherin house – anything to take his mind off the lesson – his mind wanders to his name. He’d mentioned the problem, hopefully in a casual manner, in his last letter home but so far no reply had been forthcoming. He liked his name – Black sounded more dangerous, more wizardly than Evans. He suspected this was more down to Regulus’ family history lessons than aesthetics or etymology. Even though the substance of the lessons was largely forgotten, the very fact that there was that much to be learned stuck in his mind; Black was a name with history and legacy. Meanwhile Harry didn’t know any other Evans’; his aunt had always been Petunia Dursley and his grandparents died before he was born. Even his mum who remained, legally, an Evans thought and referred to herself as ‘Black’ when at home.

On the other hand, somedays that same lack of legacy tempted him.

At least his legacy has nothing to do with flight, he consoles himself as the broomstick presses splinters into his palm; it would be terrible to be Harry _Potter_ and be afraid of flight. James would weep.

The idea of it makes him grin a little and a bit of the fear leaks out of him; after all James had been a pro quidditch player – so really, how hard could it be? This was the same man who always forgot to put the lid back on the kettle but pretended his constantly burnt hands were from wrestling dragons.

Yes, Harry thought and stood with new confidence, flying must be easy.

/

On her way down to the dungeons Lily meets only one student wasting time in the corridors. A sixth year Hufflepuff boy with a tube of muggle bubble mix and a heavy ancient runes tome sitting on a windowsill. She bites down a smile as she passes – there’s that nostalgic feeling she’d been looking for earlier; pity it’s for the streets of Cokeworth and not Hogwarts.

She waves at him as she steps onto a leaving staircase and he blows bubbles in her direction. Sixteen and barely aware of the dangers a stranger could bring.

When she reaches the dungeons she finds Eris quickly; making conversation with a lanky black boy outside the potions classroom. She catches the tail end of a line.

“…doesn’t usually let more than one person take someone to the hospital wing so I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want me in class. I’m doing him a favour staying out here.” He grins at Eris cheekily and Lily feels a warmth rush over her when Eris grins back.

“Well I can’t say I blame you.”

“However bad you may be you can’t be as bad as she was, is what she means.” Lily says pointedly.

The boy tries to swivel his head around like an owl to face her; it fails and he topples backwards. “Didn’t see you there miss.”

“I only just arrived.” She says, extending a hand to help him back up.

“Quick talk, was it?” Eris says slyly, over the top of the boy’s thank-you.

Lily huffs. “As you’ve apparently worked out, I was missing a crucial element. When did you get it?”

“Not too long ago.” Eris grins reassuringly, “I walked past the old common room and realised.”

Lily smiles ruefully, “Well maybe if I’d been going up Gryffindor Tower I would have got it quicker. Who’s your new friend?”

“This is Lee; fifth year lion. Lee this is my partner Lily; 31st year lion.” Lily laughs.

“I know you! You’ve got a frog card.”

“For my potions skills, coincidently.”

“Your brilliant potions skills!” Eris gesticulates wildly, massive beam on her face.

“Are you showing me off?”

“I want him to come out here and see you happy and laughing.”

“And besotted.” Lily adds fondly, aware that she should probably put a stop to Eris’ plotting but a part of her a little pleased by the idea. Eris grins at her; as if reading her mind, and looking younger than usual – shadows of the war fading into her skin.

“Your card doesn’t say you’re married.” Lee says curiously.

“Why would it?” Eris bristles, “We’re in love, not surgically attached, and I certainly had nothing to do with her success.”

“As anyone who’s seen your brewing can attest to.” Lily says dryly. “And more to the point Lee, we’re _not_ married. We can’t be, legally.”

“Why not?”

“Well you might not have noticed but we’re both women.”

Lee laughs but sobers quickly, “Is that illegal?”

Lily can decide whether the boy’s naivety is likely to set Eris off or calm her down so she just places a hand on her arm and smiles at Lee. “Yes, and also yes it is stupid.”

“I keep expecting them to change it.” Eris says casually, as though discussing the weather, “Just so that they can claim to be more progressive than the muggles.”

Lee’s expression seems caught between disbelief and laughter and perhaps a twinge of worry, though that could just be what Lily expects to see. Poor thing, she thinks, thirteen and lost in a conversation he didn’t ask for. She feels as lost for conversation as he looks. Eris doesn’t look much better – caught between sardonic and angry.

The bell jangles through the hall, bringing them back to themselves. Lily smiles.

“It doesn’t stop anything of course. We’re still happy.”

/

Flying really was easy, it turned out, even if the most they were allowed to do was hovering and that became quite boring as soon as you got over the shock of not being connected to solid ground anymore. Only a quarter into their two-period lesson the novelty had worn off.

Harry supposed it was more exciting when you were allowed to move instead of remaining static.

Draco Malfoy, one of the Slytherins, was the only person willing to disobey Madam Hooch’s instructions – even if only when her back was turned. While Harry was pretending not to watch Malfoy show off he failed to notice Ron sidling closer as though pushed by a light wind.

“What’s your secret then?” His friend asked, “You were a right mess this morning.”

Harry started and fumbled a little as his broom listed to the right. “I didn’t think you’d noticed.” He said to cover up his embarrassment.

“Well I wasn’t going to bring it up in front of everyone at breakfast, was I?” Ron said, looking mildly affronted.

“Oh.”

“Everyone go low.” Madam Hooch’s voice echoes across the pitch.

“Any lower and you’ll be teaching us how to walk.” Seamus Finnegan mutters under his breath. Harry hides a snigger.

Why Madam Hooch wanted them to descend became obvious a moment later when the bell rang sharp and clear and louder than usual because of their proximity to the bell tower. Above Harry and Ron Malfoy, who hadn’t obeyed Hooch’s order, startles mid-air and falls.

There’s a sharp crack as he hit the ground then a stark moment of silence as the bell stops ringing. Harry gets the impression of the calm before the storm.

Hooch is almost at Malfoy’s side when the moment breaks. Harry sees in slow motion the pain hit Malfoy and his mouth open and his eyes widen. Quickly Harry turns away, thinking of how Ron had not brought to attention his fears of flying; he certainly wouldn’t want twenty eleven year olds to see him cry.

“Brooms away people.” Hooch shouts to them, emitting groans from the students. “We’ll start double sessions next week.”

Harry slides off his broom despondently, feet thudding weirdly now that he’s grounded again.

Ron bumps his shoulder companionably, “Ah well, if you want to see some proper flying I can ask Fred and George if we can watch them in quidditch practice.”

“I wanted to see how high I could get.” Harry admits. “After all those stories about helicopters and hang-gliders.”

Ron flushes a little but doesn’t retract his story of scaring a muggle mid-flight. “At least neither of us fell off.”

“Yeah.” Harry says, wrinkling his nose in thought. “Do you think we should visit him? Malfoy?”

“Why should we?”

“Well he’s hurt – and he was quite funny; messing around like that.”

Ron shrugs, not looking particularly enthused by the idea. “Alright. We should go by the kitchens first though, so we can bring him some hot chocolate or something.”

“That’s a nice idea.” Harry says brightly.

“Mum always makes us hot chocolate when we hurt ourselves.” Ron shrugs again. “Even just for small things like nosebleeds. But when Fred tried to fly off the pig-sty and broke his ankle he looked like he was in agony. Of course he was mostly pretending so Mum wouldn’t shout at him for it.”

“Dudley broke his wrist in rugby practice once.” Harry says. “And we couldn’t even fix it up with magic because his teammates are muggles.”

“What’s rugby?” Ron says. So Harry spends the walk down to the kitchens explaining muggles sports – except for football, of which he’d already been thoroughly educated in by Dean Thomas.

/

Another Gryffindor brings Lee and his friend’s bags out and the class leaves in a hurry to get away from the dungeons. Lee has a light of anger in his eyes and Lily thinks guiltily that they put that there. That they ruined something peaceful today.

Lily hangs back again when Eris raps on the door. Sharp one-two-three, wait six seconds, one-two, door swings open. Eris isn’t good at obeying power plays.

Lily doesn’t have a direct view of the entrance from where she’s standing so she can’t see Snape at all. Irritatingly, it helps.

There’s a long few seconds of silence that Lily at first attributes to a stand-off but then Eris snorts ungracefully and speaks.

“We went to school together for seven years Snape, don’t tell me you don’t remember my name!”

“…Black?”

“Well done.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Weigh the facts and you should find that obvious.”

“I’d imagined that the boy was your brother’s or perhaps a cousin or…well anybody else really.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t recall you as being the mothering type. Or any type really. In seven years I can’t remember you showing an emotion.”

Lily wonders if Eris wants to use Lily against him now – a sort of look what I got and you didn’t deal. She doesn’t need to wonder if she wants to hurt Snape; she can see that in the set of her shoulder and spine.

She can see Eris visibly force herself to relax. “And I would never have picked you as a teacher. Can we come in?”

“We?”

“Typically, a child has two parents.”

“And as we already established, neither of us have done the typical thing. Who is the…lucky man?”

Lily steadies herself and steps into view. Snape’s resulting expression is something she really will treasure forever.

Eris slides an arm around her back and pulls her close. “Here’s to the atypical thing Severus. I hope it’s made you as happy as it has us.”

/

Malfoy isn’t exactly happy to see them when Harry and Ron push open the doors to hospital wing. Actually he might be furious; Harry still isn’t very good at reading people but the way he starts throwing things at them is a bit of a giveaway.

Harry catches something just before it slams into his face and is surprised to discover a chocolate frog; maybe Malfoy doesn’t want them to go away after all?

“We brought you hot chocolate!” He announces just as Malfoy makes to throw something else. The other boy’s face scrunches up into a frown and he drops his arm.

“…What?”

“Hot chocolate.” Harry repeats, sitting carefully on a seat and putting the drinks tray down on his lap.

“Why?”

“Harry thought it’d be nice.” Ron says.

“No I didn’t.” Harry says. “I thought we should visit, Ron suggested the hot chocolate.”

Ron says nothing as he leans casually against the wall behind Malfoy’s bed and takes his mug from the tray. He hasn’t left yet so Harry counts it as a win.

“You were funny earlier.” He says lightly, sipping his own drink and deliberately not paying attention to Malfoy’s expression. “You’re good at tricks.”

“I’ve been flying since I could walk.” Malfoy says warily, “On good brooms.” He sneers at Ron who shrugs back.

“Bet I had better teachers. And more fun.”

“You weren’t having fun today, just following orders like everyone else.”

“Instructions not orders.” Ron says, clearly holding back the urge to be rude in return – presumably for Harry’s sake, which was just weird – so Harry felt he should probably join back in.

“Ron was helping me.” He says. “I’ve never flown before.”

Malfoy takes his eyes off of Ron and stares at Harry in confusion. Unnoticed by either of them, Ron rolls his eyes at Harry.

“You’re a Black.” He says coldly.

Harry nods. “I’m thinking of changing it though.”

“Changing it?”

“Yeah, to my mum’s name instead –

Ron cuts Harry off with a snort. “Not because of what Percy said?”

“Well…not just because of Percy.” Harry says, already regretting mentioning it; the last thing he wants is for Ron to realise how badly his brother had affected him.

“Harry, you can’t listen to Percy, everyone knows that. Do you have any idea how much he talks about being a prefect? He can recite the Hogwarts rule book.”

“Uncle Peter can do that too.” Harry says glumly. “Know thy enemy and all that. I think I’ve got a copy somewhere with all the obvious loopholes highlighted.”

“I still can’t decide if your family’s weird or cool.” Ron says. “Maybe wool.”

“WHY WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME?” Malfoy interrupts in a loud screech, “You’re from one of the most powerful pureblood families in the world. Nothing on mine of course.”

Harry shrugs. “Everyone says we’re evil. It gets tiring.”

“But the Black name has so much power!”

“And so much really boring history.” Harry says sarcastically, “I bet no one would accuse Harry Evans of having killed someone.”

“Evans?” Malfoy says, “I don’t think I know that family.”

“Mum’s muggle born.” Harry says absent-mindedly, slurping up the last of his chocolate.

Malfoy stares at him and, more surprisingly, so does Ron.

“What?”

“I thought you said your mum was in Slytherin.”

“Yeah.” Harry said, nodding, “Oh! Right, my other mum’s in Slytherin.”

“Your…other mum?” Ron squints at him. “How many do you have?”

“Two, maybe three? I don’t know if Marian really counts.”

“That does explain why you never mention your dad. I just thought he was dead.”

“No, I don’t have a dad; I mean there’s technically someone but I’ve never met him.”

“Should you be telling us this?” Malfoy has a confused expression; Harry thinks he might be unfamiliar with people talking to him in plain English. “Shouldn’t it be a secret?”

“I don’t think so. Mum’s told me I was adopted ages ago.”

“But you’re the heir.” Malfoy says plaintively.

Harry just looks at him.

“To the Black family. One of the _as previously mentioned_ most powerful pureblood families there is.”

“Not as good as yours though.” Ron says wryly. Malfoy looks startled but gives a small (tiny) smile.

“Would you like a chocolate frog?”

/

“That was impressively quick.” Lily says when Albus arrives outside Snape’s door.

“I heard someone was looking for me.”  He smiles thinly and steps inside.

Lily smiles back and steps forward. “Yes. It’s good to see you again. We had some worries about –

“Me?” Snape appears to have gotten over his horror at seeing Lily and Eris together.

Lily can feel a flush rising but thankfully Eris steps in to take over.

“Yes.”

Lily kicks her.

Eris smirks and continues unapologetically. “Neither of us will pretend that there weren’t ‘problem’ teachers when we attended Hogwarts but we were young then and didn’t quite understand the impact a bad teacher could have on our lives.”

“And your son has ill words to say about my lessons?”

“Harry doesn’t consider his potions lessons the most important thing to write home about.” Lily says coldly.

There’s a quiet light in Albus’ eyes that dims slightly when Eris picks up from her sentence.

“However, considering how enthusiastic he is about transfiguration and charms not to mention his excitement for beginning flight lessons, that silence in itself is worrying.”

“Children are more likely to like classes with excessive tricks and play.” Snape sneers.

Lily rolls her eyes. “Herbology is interesting but slow, history is boring and should have more focus on wizard-muggle interactions, astronomy is a bit basic at the moment and defence against the dark arts is interesting but acts like the war isn’t happening.” She lists off. “But all he has to say about potions is that the teacher seems to hate him.”

“Of course,” Eris says pre-emptively, “These are only the complaints of one boy; no matter how worrying we find his letters we wouldn’t storm the castle if that was all we had.”

She goes silent. Lily reaches into her satchel to pull out her notes and accounts she has prepared but Eris grasps her elbow before she can draw them out. Lily shoots her a quick questioning look but obediently stops. She trusts Eris to have a plan.

Silence permeates the room, the two teachers clearly expecting them to continue their litany; Eris relaxes her stance and leans back onto a desk with the air of already having won.

Snape breaks first. “Well?” He snaps after only a few seconds of quiet. “What is it?”

“I agree Miss Black, please do tell.” Albus says calmly, “Unless you expect us to guess?”

“Humorous as that would be…” Eris smirks, “I think the fact that you cannot guess proves my point quite well on its own.”

“Oh?”

“That you either don’t take complaints seriously, or that there are too many and you don’t want to pick one that we don’t know about and give us more ammunition.”

Lily stifles a laugh and reaches for her papers again; no doubt they’ll be needed soon.

“Or,” Snape says stonily, missing Albus’ subtle headshake, “Perhaps there are not quite so many complaints as you imagine there to be.”

Eris smiles triumphantly and steps back a little for Lily to take the stage; her piece has been won. Lily meets Snape’s eyes and grins before starting.

/

Eating through Draco’s frog stash helps to settle the remaining tension. While they eat Harry clarifies things about his family.

Throughout the conversation Draco seems to be gathering the courage to ask a specific question. Harry suspects it will once again be about his status as heir to the Black family and selfishly hopes he doesn’t ask it.

Meanwhile Ron just keeps rolling his eyes. “So you really didn’t realise you’d never mentioned that you have two mums?”

“Uh…no.”

Ron rolls his eyes even harder.

“Ahem.” Malfoy appears to have broken; Harry turns his head to avoid showing his disappointment to them.

“I was wondering…”

Harry carefully schools his face before turning around. “Yeah?”

“Did you say someone accused you of having killed someone?”

Harry lets out a sigh of relief – garnering him two weirded out expressions – and lightly replies, “Yeah, a couple of times now. And this one time I heard someone say I got a detention for trying to.”

“I’m pretty sure you’d get expelled at least for attempted murder.” Ron says wryly.

Harry smiles grimly and shrugged. “It’s not terrible I suppose, I mean, it’s only words.”

It isn’t only words though and all three boys know it. After all magic, too, is only words. Even the killing curse is _only words_.

There’s a muggle rhyme Harry knows from his cousin – _sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will only hurt you_ – Harry hadn’t understood it the first him he heard it from Uncle Vernon and even now he still didn’t understand how muggles could be so ignorant of the simplest things.

He feels guilty as the thought floats into his mind. He doesn’t think muggles are stupid.

Or at least, he tries not to. He loves his Aunt and Uncle and cousin and he’s scared of becoming the sort of person who disregards them as humans. Because that’s what people think of him, isn’t it?

That’s what the people whispering about the Black family think.

What his best friend’s own brother thinks.

Harry doesn’t know how people become purists but from all the people who’ve never met him and already know where his life is going, he thinks it might be easy.

He’s heard James say things before, about Death Eaters he’s arrested, about how so many of them don’t come across as racist at all, even when they’re talking about killing muggles. Voldemort’s amassed an army of scared people, people who don’t even notice that they’re evil until they’re being arrested.

Harry’s scared.

Harry’s scared that the only reason he’ll never become a Death Eater is because they’d kill him on sight, rather than risk the prophecy coming true.

“That isn’t right.” Draco’s petulant, childish voice cuts through Harry’s self-hatred and brings him back to the hospital wing. On his right Ron is clearly holding himself back from reaching out.

“Who’s saying those things? It isn’t anyone in Slytherin, is it? I’ll tell them to stop.”

Harry shrugs. “I try not to hear it.” He looks to Ron who frowns.

“I told Percy to knock it off.”

Harry smiles. “Thanks. And you Malfoy, thanks for offering.”

Draco glares at him.

/

Lily stops talking, flushed and breathless but proud. She didn’t think she’d ever have to see Severus again, let alone confront him, and she’s far surpassed her own expectations.

“Never doubted you.” Eris whispers into her ear as she steps back into their shared space. Lily shivers and moves even closer until there’s no air left between them.

Albus clears his throat loudly in front of them and Lily reluctantly pulls away, smirking slightly at the men.

“…Well. You’ve certainly given us a lot to think about ladies but I’m sure –

“You.” Lily says sternly, “We’ve given _you_ a lot to think about. Unless you’ve started giving students choice over their detentions Professor Snape has no need to be involved in your decision. If he didn’t want to face consequences he should have done his job better.”

“Hm. Quite.”

Lily purses her lips and bites back a retort. She’s said all she came to say; if Albus wants to risk her good nature that’s his prerogative.

“One last thing.” Eris says stonily as the door swings open for them. “There may not be any consequences for you turning untrained adults into your toy soldiers but if I ever hear cause to believe that you are using a school as a training ground I will not stop until the only doors open for you are prison gates.”

She sweeps out gracefully, not bothering to hear any retort there may have been. When they are a distance away from the potions classroom Lily stops. “What was that about?”

Eris breathes out, focusing on a point somewhere to Lily’s right. “He wasn’t surprised at the complaints and he knows Snape was, or is, a Death Eater.”

“So?”

“So I didn’t think of it until now but he’s not the only teacher here with a criminal record. Hogwarts isn’t meant to be witness protection – that and the Order, it just rubs me the wrong way.”

Lily leans up and kisses her. “Thank you for listening to me about Snape. Thank you for coming with me.”

“We should find Professor McGonagall.” Eris says, a light blush dusting her cheeks, “Let her know that Harry won’t be taking potions here until a replacement is found.”

“I’ll do that.” Lily agrees, privately thinking that putting Eris and McGonagall in the same room would be a recipe for disaster, “You can ask that portrait of your ancestor to find Harry for us so he knows in advance.”

Eris grimaces. “Ugh. I hate asking favours of family.”

Lily laughs softly. “Come and find me when you’ve got him, I want to see how he’s doing.” She waves as she walks away.

/

Harry finally learns what his earlier feeling of dread was about when he and Ron arrive at the Fat Lady and see his _mum_ arguing with her.

“Nrrgh.” Harry says, immediately turning around and pulling Ron with him.

Sadly, the hall is empty except for the three of them and she clearly hears him and turns around. It’s still embarrassing that she’s here but he can’t deny the feeling of warmth and safety that fills him when he sees her smile.

“There you are! Phineas couldn’t find you and I couldn’t get into your common room.”

Harry laughs. “Well you aren’t exactly a student. Or a Gryffindor, even.”

His mum ruffles his hair and smiles. “I suppose so.” Without warning she spins back to face the Fat Lady. “I’m sorry for haranguing you so much.” She gives a light curtsey, “Thank you for taking such good care of the students, Lily always spoke very highly of you so I really should have known better than to try and convince you otherwise.” His mother’s sweet smile, as ever, gives Harry the creeps. It seems to work on the portrait though. “I can only hope that my son has shown you more politeness than I have.”

“Mum!” Harry squawks.

“Sorry, sweetheart.”

Harry groans. “This is the worst day.” Beside him Ron stops attempting politeness and starts loudly sniggering. Without turning around Harry elbows him and feels satisfaction when it hits home.

“Harry Black.” His mum says sternly and Harry winces, having somehow forgotten that she was there.

“Uh…”

“Come on, let’s go and find Lily.”

“You’re both here?”

She smiles at him and then turns to greet Ron who waves.

“Harry was just telling us about you, earlier, Mrs Black.”

“Really? Surely you have better things to discuss. Homework perhaps?”

Ron flushes but Harry just rolls his eyes. “She’s teasing mate. Remus says you slept through all of _your_ first year.” He says pointedly.

“I don’t think Remus knew I existed in our first year.”

“Uncle Regulus agrees with him.”

“ _He_ wasn’t even at Hogwarts then.”

“Yeah, but –

“Nope.” She grins. “Tell me about your day. What classes did you have today?”

/

It’s about halfway through her cup of tea that Lily realises that, like Severus, Professor McGonagall probably wasn’t aware that she was Harry’s mother. For her old housemistress this may as well be just an old student dropping by for tea and biscuits. For some reason the thought makes her feel slightly ill.

Carefully, Lily puts her cup back onto its saucer.

For a few seconds there’s silence. Then McGonagall clears her throat and when Lily meets her eyes she smiles kindly.

“You’re worried about Harry; I presume? Yes,” She says when Lily looks surprised, “I know he’s your son – Albus gossips.”

Lily smiles in relief.

“It is a little unusual Miss Evans that you’d turn up in person instead of sending a letter. May I ask, has he had problems in the past that made you worried?”

“Well.” Lily grimaces, “Not quite. Harry’s always – we raised him in a very solitary environment due to the war and the circumstances of his adoption. So yes, I have been worried that he might find Hogwarts a bit overwhelming but that wasn’t what prompted us to come here today. And please, call me Lily.” She adds as an afterthought.

“Thank you Lily, I hope you’ll take the same indulgence with me.”

After a brief pause where it becomes clear that Lily isn’t going to say anything, Minerva speaks again. “I’m always curious as to where my old students have ended up. If it isn’t too private can I ask why you chose to adopt? Not that I can fault your choice; Harry’s certainly a wonderful child.”

Lily smiles instead of rolling her eyes. “Were we really that subtle? No one ever seems to know ahead of time, and though I hate to accuse anyone of homophobia; especially Albus, obviously, at this point it’s almost suspicious.”

To her credit, it doesn’t take long for Minerva to work out what she’s talking about. “Oh! Your dalliance with Miss Black, you mean? I presumed that was – youthful folly, you know.”

“Oh?” Lily can’t resist pressing a little bit; she’s never seen the professor so flustered.

“Well you were just children and you were so different. Your families, your upbringings, I imagined that your dreams would be also. People rarely meet their partners in school, you know.”

“Well our childhoods were fairly different but not so much when you get past the magical divide. And we both had siblings we adored who could easily have been turned against us. Maybe the odds weren’t in our favour but I’m sure you’ll agree it’s worth pushing past the hurdles.”

“Of course.”

Lily notices that she doesn’t ask about Petunia, even though she knows that that relationship _was_ obvious to all during her schooldays; of course, Petunia, being a muggle, was off limits for wizarding gossip whereas Eris was fair game – especially for members of the Order for whom it’s practically work.

It occurs to her that she’s being, perhaps, a little cruel. It’s something wizards forget; it isn’t only pure blood that’s bitter – muggles and mudbloods can be dark inside as well. No wonder Eris’ – her, their – family were mad; imagine having the power to go alongside it. Lily raises the last of tea to her lips and imagines it’s whisky, and smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn did this get out of hand. so the original plan was school/war/harry but I've clearly fucked that up and am going to be writing more. probably, in fact, this should end later, like it was meant to end at the end of first year but it's already long and I wanted to get another chapter in before 2018. as you can see I am fantastic at deadlines.

**Author's Note:**

> I headcanon James as asexual in this but it doesn't really come up so I didn't mention it in the tags.


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